Author Archives: Scotty b.
The importance of friendship is something we all take for granted sometimes. We often are reminded of the value of our friends when the chips are down and we need someone to be in our corner.
My Granddad always said the quality of one’s friends was the single-best indicator of the quality of one’s life. Granddad had a three-tier model for the things that bring us joy. Granddad believed that things like money, power, security, a nice house or flashy car were deceptive “middlemen” – things that we often mistake for happiness – but rarely bring more than fleeting joy.
Granddad populated the second tier with things within ourselves such as our degree of autonomy, self-reliance, confidence and self-discipline. All of which, in Granddad’s opinion, could restore money, power or a home when these things are inevitably lost in a heartbeat – whether via lawsuit, accident, old age, natural disaster, economic collapse, false accusation or hundreds of other seemingly random events in life.
What Granddad placed on the his top tier . . . is the value that friends bring into our lives. A true friend brings us comfort, a sounding board, someone to spend downtime with, someone who shares in our thoughts and dreams, a person to laugh or cry with, a trusted source of wisdom and advice . . . and the list goes on and on. We all need people with whom we can share our deepest secrets and reveal our truest self.
In C.S. Lewis’ novel The Great Divorce the master penman creates a setting where Hell is a place where every human being is completely isolated from everybody else – with the next closest human being miles away. C.S. Lewis makes a compelling case that Hell is not a place of steam, magma and blazing infernos as we have been taught. Rather The Great Divorce postulates that Hell is instead any place where Humans lack companionship and friendship.
Every now and again you will find that you face a problem which seems overwhelming. Having a great friend or companion is often the difference between facing great depression and laughing at the challenge you face. This is true whether the issue is financial, a problem with your significant other, a complex issue affecting your career, or a fight with your kids or parents.
The best parts of life are those that contain your richest laughter. Friends are usually a part of those moments. The more and closer friends one maintains, the more laughter and joy you are likely to experience. Reach out to a friend today and tell them you love them.
“The best things in life are free. It is important never to lose sight of that. So look around you. Wherever you see friendship, loyalty, laughter and love…there is your treasure.” — Neale Donald Walsch
You can exist without friends; but you cannot truly live without them.
What if answering ‘no’ to the first question automatically meant ‘yes’ to the second. Would you more urgency seek out your Life’s Purpose?
What if living in fear means that you aren’t pursuing what God wants you to accomplish? What if “keeping the commandments” is not your highest calling? What if your highest calling is pursuing an objective God hand-picked YOU to accomplish? What if God designed YOU with your positive AND negative aspects to make you the perfect person to accomplish something grand?
Would you answer God’s call?
YOU ARE SINGULARLY UNIQUE!
Out of an estimated 110,000,000,000 people to have lived on this planet, only one has possessed the exact combination of attitude, skills, knowledge, and passion that you do.
When you really think about it, that is an awesome thought! Out of more than 100 billion humans who have ever lived, you are singularly unique. You are literally irreplaceable! You are critically important to the human race!
You are literally irreplaceable!
If you fail to pursue your life purpose, you deprive this planet of your unique gift to the human race.
Consider this: What if you were meant to cure cancer, write a symphony, invent something amazing, be the Senior Pastor at a Mega-Church in Manhattan (or the beloved pastor of a 12-member Church in the middle of nowhere?) or pitch a perfect game 7 in a Cubs uniform to bring a world championship to Wrigley’s faithful?
But what if you thought about it quite a bit . . . but it seemed pretty hard and like it would take a long time to accomplish.
And you might fail.
So you never actually took action to get it done?
You settle for a life of quiet despair and hopeless mediocrity. . . knowing you could be so much more?
You obviously hurt yourself. You live in regret and misery most of your life. You hurt your children and strip them of many advantages you could have provided.
You hurt your family, your neighbors, and alma mater. You hurt your legacy. You hurt the economy. You hurt your House of Worship. You hurt me. You hurt the planet. You make needless the angels assigned to protect you. You defy the Almighty who created you — and only you — with your unique gifts.
Don’t do it! Don’t cheat us of your contribution: Give us what you’ve got!
God created you for the purpose of making this planet better. She designed each of us with a Purpose. God calls us towards that purpose. Our calling is not to bend ourselves into some ideal our parents, teachers, or religion tries to foist upon us. Our calling is most certainly NOT to avoid running afoul of ten negatively-framed commandments.
Your calling is not to become some theoretical perfect person by never making a mistake or taking any risks. Your calling is to make a bunch of errors so you can find out who you are . . . and become it.
Oh, and just so we are clear: No matter what self-delusional story I tell myself; I cannot be an effective witness for God while everyone can see I am not living up to my potential. No one is going to want to follow my God when they see I have God-given talents . . . that for some reason I refuse to use.
Our calling is to find out who we already are . . . and become it.
Our calling is to find out who we already are . . . and become it.
To living purposefully,
NOTE: This is part II. Click here to read Part I first.
Whether it’s our job (or job search), or where we live, or the amount of money we make, or the amount of money we have saved, or progress (or lack) towards our goals, our spiritual journey, the car we drive, the way we are raising our kids, how prestigious our home is, etc. etc. etc. — at the end of the day, we can blame someone or something else, play the victim, and “feel” a tiny bit better in telling ourselves and the world we are not responsible since “that” situation or event caused it. Or that I could do it except for “this” person. Or if it wasn’t for this situation, I would definitely . . . . Or perhaps that event. Or maybe today it’s the weather. Or the government. Or the other political party. Or my pastor. Or my religion.
Or . . . maybe its the ‘common thread’ tying all of the above together?
Me??!? Nah. Couldn’t be.
How about if we take the laboring oar and decide on a destination? How about we decide to paddle our boat to that destination, come what may? How about making a 100% decision that I will no longer complain of rapids or unfavorable winds or waves or sea turtles or that someone else is rich and got a faster boat when they were born.
How about I decide on My Destination and quit worrying about the boat some rich kid has. After all, if I really wanted to be truthful, I would look around and likely notice that a lot of folk don’t even have boats. They have an intertube or a piece of cardboard. And many of them have made it to where they wished to go in life. And every one of them who did reach their destination made a complete decision that they were 100% responsible for getting to wherever they wished to go.
All we must do to have our dream life, now and forever, is to recognize we have prostituted our lives for our “ors”. . . ‘Or’ that I could do it except for “this” person. ‘Or’ this situation . . . . ‘Or’ perhaps that event. ‘Or’ maybe today it’s the weather. ‘Or’ the government. ‘Or’ the other political party. ‘Or’ my pastor. ‘Or’ my religion. ‘Or’ crappy childhood.
Are you really so tied to your life that you won’t even try another approach?
It really is as simple as deciding we are no longer willing to prostitute ourselves for cheap, and making instead, a 100% decision to leave our . . . ‘Or’ House.
It really is as simple as deciding we are no longer willing to prostitute ourselves for cheap, and making instead, a 100% decision to leave our ‘Or’ House.
I can change. You can change. We all can change. Often immediately. But invariably in far less time than we ever thought possible.
And what if I am wrong. What if it is not “quite that easy?”
I don’t know. Try harder, I guess. What I know without question is this: If it is the most difficult thing you have ever done — it will still be a helluva lot easier than dragging that sign around everyday that says, “Look at me. I’m a victim. I’m a loser who is so defeated I can’t even admit it to myself what a loser I am.”
The worst part is that everyone else sees that sign from miles away. Every single person. Like Adam and Eve — we aren’t foolin’ anyone…except ourselves, perhaps.
Now, we try to cover it up by attracting people into our lives who won’t call us out on our B.S. So, pretty soon our inner circle of friends consists of a whole group of irresponsible, self-deceiving, gossiping, blamers who carry around the same loser sign – but never call out each other for keeping that sign. But it doesn’t change the fact that every single person in our life knows that we are simply making excuses. Everyone knows we could be so much more. Everyone knows we could have so much more. We know it most of all. We know we are like Adam or Eve proffering our ridiculous excuses to God. We absolutely understand we aren’t fooling anybody. Especially ourselves. We are ensuring, though, that given some time — every single person we call a friend will suck just as much as we do . . . but at least we all belong to the same code of silence. No one will call us out on our excuses. Since we are all asphyxiating in that same mediocrity.
Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply claim 100% responsibility?
Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply claim 100% responsibility?
Wouldn’t life be grand if I decide to identify the real issue? And fix it? Or am I so utterly delighted in my life of shame, guilt, remorse and the regret of not becoming all I am capable of . . . that I wish to stay as I am and continue carrying around my giant loser sign that is visible to everybody?
What the problem is not:
Starting is the hardest part. Try as we might, we will tend to blame our ex. Or perhaps many of our exes. Or the person we know we should break up with, but haven’t gotten around to it just yet. We may blame the distance between us, or the closeness. Or their table manner. Or kids. Or how they try to dodge responsibility my making lists. We sometimes will point the figure at sex and suggest that it is the realculprit: And the rapid post-intercourse changes in our relationship makes it seem a viable and legitimate culprit. . .
But no. It is me. I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.
But my partner used to be fun, spontaneous, a tad dangerous, mysterious, creative, and unpredictable. And he used to ride a motorcycle. She used to weigh 20 pounds less and didn’t require nearly as much makeup. And she used to like having sex with me on a regular . . .
No. No, thank you. It is me. I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.
He used to be so focused and driven. She used to work really hard at making our relationship work. I give the same effort I always did . . . but my partner is slacking off for no reason I can think of. I understand that in our parents’ day they had to work hard. It’s easier now, but we all expect those same things now without the same hard work: A nice car and home is practically guaranteed. . . certainly in the U.S., right? So why has she given up on our goals? Why has he jettisoned his passion? Why is . . .
No! I alone am 100% responsible for my Love Life.
But why? Why does he no longer focus on these things with a passion? I mean, sure, I expect to be entertained by my television for a few hours each day and assume that the road workers will keep the snow swept up so I can make it to my gym, or piano lesson, but so does everyone else. Although I do see how expectation leads to entitlement, and I know entitlement leads to a lack of effort. Ok, perhaps we are both giving slightly less effort than when we first met… and pretty soon we are no longer having sex. And then every thing else starts to fall apart. But really, s/he is failing a lot more than . . .
No! I have failed. But I am done failing. I am responsible! I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.
And what about all my dreams and all the stories we heard as kids of what the “model relationship” should be. I don’t want to give up my Prince Charming meets James Bond plus 10% dangerous, unpredictable bad boy idealization. I don’t want to settle for less than the Swedish Bikini Team plus Ms. America who does crazy unmentionable things in the bedroom . . . although still a virgin . . .
Oh wait. I know, I know. I can have those qualities . . .all of them. And more! But only if
I admit I am 100% responsible and accept 100% responsibility for my Love Life!
Okay. Fine. I am in. Where do I begin?
(Click here to return to Part I of this post)
From my heart to yours,
“I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
These three words will change your life if you let them.
Simply declare, “I am responsible!” and you liberate yourself from negative emotions, begin taking control of your life, and short-circuit and cancel out any negative emotions you may be experiencing. It doesn’t matter how long those negative emotions have unlawfully detained your thoughts, emotions, and well-being. The moment you declare, “I am responsible!” their reign of terror is ended as certainly as chopping down a tree results in its fruit dying.
Without saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions; no progress is possible. Once you start saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions, there are no limits to what you can be, do, have and become!
There is no such thing as a justified resentment.
There is no such thing as a justified resentment. Nice people suck and are lonely. Be kind — hated by some — but beloved by those who really matter. You can rationalize all day long — or you can be successful — but not both. Blaming and complaining send the message to your subconscious that it can be idle since you are waiting for someone else to get their act together. Accepting 100% responsibility demands the most out of your two most powerful motivators: Your subconscious mind and your emotions.
Saying “I am responsible!” whenever you start to feel upset frees you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to begin channeling your energies and enthusiasm into a productive response to those negative emotions. Being 100% responsible propels you in an entirely different, and completely fulfilling, direction.
Accepting 100% responsibility propels you towards the abundant life of your dreams.
Declaring “I am responsible!” is the Truth. Blaming your parents is a lie. Complaining about your education is a lie. Justifying your poor behavior because of your job, or boss, or lack of money: Lie, lie, lie. Rationalizing based on your religion, or pastor, or the gossip queen two rows down on the left: Three more lies. I AM RESPONSIBLE!
That is The Truth. And The Truth shall set you free!
No one else is responsible for your life: You are!
No one can hold you back or make decisions for you: Only you can!
So make this decision right now! “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
Make this decision right now! – “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
And then make this decision: “SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY! I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS. FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”
“SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY! I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS. FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”
To your freedom,
Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. spent her valuable time reviewing this series of posts for us and making them better. As you know, she is a beloved hypnotherapist. Take action now to become one of those clients who is always raving about the immediate and lasting change Dawnmarie ushered into their life. Contact her now to set up your appointment at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com, or review her website at dreamconversions.net. Dawnmarie will help you even if you don’t live in Los Angeles. Her telephone appointments are just as effective as her in-office meetings. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
We ended Part III looking at the difference between ‘niceness’ and ‘kindness.’ A few more thoughts follow before we discuss the three words that could make you happy virtually all the time.
The Difference Between Niceness and Kindness
Perhaps the most distinct difference is that a nice person is concerned with others’ feelings, while a kind person is concerned with others’ well-being. The kind person will remain concerned and kind – and outspoken — even at the expense of others’ feelings. In many cases, kindness on a grand scale costs the kind person dearly – sometime it even costs the kind person their life (Jesus and Dr. King, come to mind). Kind people are kind anyways. It is part of their character.
Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. Don’t be the hypersensitive, nice person, who never changes or takes risks. Don’t be nice or comply with others’ requests just so you don’t rock the boat. Doing so does not make you kind. It makes you nice: a sucker, and a fraud, and it hides the True You – the person we all wish we could get to know.
That is worth another read: If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
OK, super lame of me to do it yet again; put try to punch a hole in this logic. If you cannot find the fallacy in the logic, then we should all get busy eliminating these few behaviors and living lives where we are happy most of the time! If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
So how do we do it? If we could truly be happy most of the time by simply eliminating justification, rationalization, and blame – plus being hypersensitive and nice – why doesn’t everyone do it? What are the magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative squatter . . . leaving us only feeling our baseline of happiness?
Accepting 100% Responsibility
Say “I am responsible.”
Did you feel the power?
No. This isn’t hokey. If you didn’t feel it, try it again. “I am responsible.”
The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.
The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.
Accepting 100% responsibility instantly stops the bad feelings and immediately forces your mind to begin working on a solution to the issues upon which the negative emotions Trojan Horsed their way inside your psyche.
It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings. The scapegoat we tend to blame, complaint about, and use as a means to justify and rationalize our negative feelings is NOT the cause of those feelings.
It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.
The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.
The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.
Lack of clarity is the root of negative emotions.
So, if negative emotions are the disease; purpose and clarity are the cure.
The moment we accept 100% responsibility – we might not even be clear on the solution, yet – we allow our mind to immediately begin searching for the perfect solution to the problem — instead of employing our mind’s vast capabilities trying to designate a scapegoat and concoct a number of way to blame that person or event for everything that is wrong in our life.
The final installment of this series: “I AM RESPONSIBLE!” will follow tomorrow. Bookmark your browser or click the follow button on the right at the top to ensure you don’t miss it.
Because, as you know, if you miss it – you are responsible.
From my heart to yours,
Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., thank you for you review and editing of these posts. Your depth and knowledge on this complex topic has proven priceless.
Ms. Presley is a terrific hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about her. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire – or in the time frame you want – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail. Go to her office in Los Angeles County and you will usually leave having already made permanent changes Don’t live in Los Angeles? No worries. Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life on track today! You may review her website at dreamconversions.net.
We know we can be victorious over negative emotions by remaining on guard against the four types of Trojan Horses in which they hide. In Part II we discussed Justification and Rationalization. In this post we look at the remaining two Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse.
Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse
3. Blaming and Complaining. As humans, our penchant is to blame (and then usually complain about) situations, occurrences, and people for the circumstances of our life. Doing so is analogous to owning a large fruit orchard. I need to constantly remain cognizant of the kind of fruit my orchard is producing. When I find a particular tree is growing nothing but Blame Apples, Gripe Vines, Complaint-ains; I need to chop down that tree. The moment I sever the trunk, I irrevocably extinguish the ability of its fruit to survive. Sure, some fruit may survive for a few days or perhaps a week… but the fruit will die in short order and no new fruit will take its place. Accordingly, when you notice you are blaming, griping, or complaining, you must identify the cause and set your saw or axe to work immediately. Otherwise, you risk the disease spreading to the rest of your orchard.
4. Hypersensitivity. Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. That is what “nice” people do. Nice people are generally the ones afflicted with the disease of hypersensitivity.
“Being nice?” you may question, “What is wrong with being nice?” Am I not supposed to “be nice?” Weren’t Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha, Martin Luther, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and most other great revolutionary leaders “nice”?
The emphatic answer is: NO!
None of them were nice!
One cannot be a revolutionary – – and be ‘nice’? If you disagree, you might be confusing ‘nice’ with ‘kind’ – just as I did for most of my life. But ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ are definitely not synonyms.
Niceness v. Kindness
Niceness is a personality trait. Kindness is a feature of one’s character.
Niceness is a self-serving, self-protecting bunker in which a coward hides — hoping that by not offending anyone they will be liked.
Kindness, on the other hand, is others-centered. A kind person will not hesitate to challenge unjust practices and put deceitful people on blast. A kind person knows that what they stand up for will undoubtedly cause them suffering, ridicule, and to be hated by many. The kind person speaks and acts against injustice simply because it is the right thing to do. The kind person does so at great personal expense. The kind person does so anyway.
A nice person would never do such a thing, because a nice person is all about themselves. A nice person is not about others, as they usually claim to be. A nice person agrees with others’ because they have no backbone. A nice person don’t want to offend – even when someone is behaving offensively. A nice person complies to avoid confrontation – even when someone or something needs to be confronted.
The nice person is a coward who hides who they really are, hoping to be loved. Unfortunately, the nice person lives in self-delusion by this hope. How can one ever be loved, if one never shows the world who they really are? How can one even love or respect themselves . . . if they never stand up for what they believe? So while another fake person may grow to ‘love’ the nice person’s illusory facade; no one can ever truly love the nice person because they only ever reveal their fake exterior to the world.
The kind person, on the other hand, strolls through the world unafraid. The kind person knows they will be hated by most people they encounter because they speak their truth and stand against the forces of deception and tyranny. But in doing so, the kind person will always be beloved by the few who would see this planet become a better place: a world filled with peace, joy, truth, love, justice and understanding.
Our deep appreciation goes to Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. for her valuable time she contributed to making this blog series better. We thank her for her review, depth of knowledge, and insightful comments and edits. Ms. Presley’s hypnotherapy clients rave about the changes she ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the progress you desire – or as rapidly as you want — contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. New clients invariably experience lasting change in a session or two. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Los Angeles as Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective as in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
NOTE: this is Part II. Click for Part III or Part IV. Click the following link to read Part I of this post: “Three Words Guaranteed to Instantly Banish Negative Emotions”
As we discussed in Part I, happiness is a constant when we are daily engaged in work that excites us, helps others, is worthy of our time and energy, and moves us towards achieving our Life Purpose. It is a fallacy to believe we are “less happy” or “unhappy” or even that our happiness fluctuates all that much. What is actually occurring is that our ability to feel that happiness is being dissipated or overcome by one or more of the “six negative” emotions — fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and/or rage.
It is shockingly simple to remove the offending negative emotion(s) when we consciously identify that one or more of the “negative six” is interfering with our ability to experience happiness. Once we remove the negative emotion(s) we rapidly return to a state of happiness.
These “negative six” emotions are easy to identity and manage once you understand how they infiltrate our emotions. The “negative six” camouflage themselves and attempt to enter your psyche undetected inside a host container, which we will call a “Trojan Horse.”
(Referenced in Homer’s Odyssey, the Trojan Horse tale depicts the Greek army unsuccessfully besieging the city of Troy. For ten years, the virtually unassailable wall encircling Troy protected the city. Trojan warriors atop the wall could rain arrows down upon invaders while virtually no return fire could reach them. After a decade, the Greek general, Odysseus, had enough. Odysseus ordered his army to construct a trophy acknowledging Troy’s battle superiority: a gigantic, beautiful, wooden horse. After building the Horse, the entire Greek army sailed away in defeat. The elated Trojans pulled the colossal horse into their city and the celebration began! The victory was hollow, however, because the horse was hollow, too. Under cover of darkness, the Grecian soldiers hiding inside crept out and opened the gates for the Greek army — who had sailed back to Troy under cover of darkness. The Greek army entered the city and easily defeated the partied-out city of Troy.
Today, we use the metaphor “Trojan Horse” to describe a ploy where a victim is duped into allowing something unwanted into a susceptible region. Trojan Horse viruses, for instance, infiltrate computers by hiding inside apparently useful software or email. Once the malicious program slips past the computer’s defenses, however, the rogue binary code is unleashed.)
How many of us would choose to feel fearful, jealous, or inferior if these emotions just rolled up to us, announced their presence, and asked to be let into our psyche? “Hell, no!” we would scream as we rained arrows down from our elevated position, easily defeating them.
The “negative six” emotions rarely come at us openly and directly for just this reason. They, like Odysseus’ army, utilize Trojan Horses instead. But Trojan Horses are easily defeated because they rely on a complete lack of perception on the part of their victim to have any chance of success. Had a single soldier in Troy recognized the trap, the result would have been much different. Instead of the destruction of Troy, Troy would have easily captured two dozen of Greece’s finest warriors. This result would have also ended the war — but with Troy the victor!
You, too, can easily be victorious when facing negative emotions. All that is required is remaining watchful for potential Trojan Horses. Negative emotions only employ four basic types of Trojan Horses. Once you are aware of these four, you will be able to instantly spot them trying to infiltrate your emotions and rob you of your peace of mind and happiness.
The Four Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse
1. Justification. A human’s default setting is happiness. I can only experience negative emotions for the length of time that I tell myself I am entitled to feel them. The moment I quit justifying the negative emotion is the moment it the moment it is expelled. Soon, my happiness has “miraculously” returned. Be a ruthless landlord of your emotions. As soon as you notice some unsavory characters hanging around the apartment complex of your heart, mind and soul – begin the eviction process by examining why you are justifying the emotion(s). Try to remember that you are the one feeling crappy; not the event, situation, or other person. Do you really want to continue feeling fearful or inferior or rage, while they remain completely unaffected? Remove the justification, and you remove the negative emotion(s) automatically.
2. Rationalization. When I rationalize, I am trying to offer a socially-acceptable reason for my unacceptable behavior. That is all I am doing. I am making up an elaborate fairy tale in my head in hopes it will excuse my poor behavior. Even if this worked, it is a lot of energy expended to explain my ill-actions . . . even though I still know that I am wrong. What is worse, though, is that it never works. People always see through our elaborate rationalizations. So don’t waste your time and energy. If you were in the wrong, just admit it. Your happiness is at stake here, remember?
Click here for Part III or Part IV in this series, or click return to Part I. If you would like to be notified each time we publish a new post, feel free to “follow” us by clicking the follow button to the right.
To your happiness,
I want to thank Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., for her valuable time, wisdom and contributions to this series of posts. Ms. Presley is an incredible hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about the changes she ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had yet seen the results you desire, contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. She usually helps new clients experience permanent change in a session or two. Don’t live in Los Angeles? It doesn’t matter: Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective as her in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie or visit her website at dreamconversions.net and get your life back on track today!
We all want to be happy. We intuitively understand that the positive emotion of happiness is a by-product of living a purposeful, productive, fulfilling life. And, this, in turn, produces a life abundant with peace of mind, joy, truth, and love. You probably also know that if you are living a purposeful, productive life there are only six basic barriers to happiness: the negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and rage.
The six basic barriers to happiness are the negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and rage.
We often envision happiness in terms of it fluctuating up and down like the temperature outdoors. But that is an inaccurate model of how humans actually experience happiness. Once a human is purposefully engaged in a productive venture — happiness exists. If you feel that your work helps others and is worthy of your daily effort — your happiness does not fluctuate much at all. What is actually happening when I feel less happy than normal is that I am concurrently experiencing one or more of the “negative six emotions.” These negative emotions cause us to feel less happy than we normally do. When we allow ourselves to feel one or more of the “negative six” more powerfully than our happiness, we describe that result as ‘feeling unhappy.’ But the happiness is still there in the background, just as it always is. We simply cannot feel it since we are choosing to experience the negative emotions more intensely at that time. To return to the state of happy, then, all that is necessary is to remove the negative emotion(s) interfering with our ability to feel, experience, and appreciate our happiness.
Removing Negative Emotions
O.K., that sounds good in theory. But removing negative emotions is much more difficult in reality, correct? I mean, it is much tougher to remove a negative emotion than just follow the simplistic advice we are often given to “just think positively.” Right? We cannot just say a few magic words and have negative emotions disappear as easily as a magician waves his wand through the air. Isn’t that true? Well, actually; no. It is that simple. That is all that is required. A few magic words and perhaps an ‘abra-cadabra.’ Or an ‘a la kazam’. ‘Voila!’ If you prefer. And the negative emotions are gone. Banished. Ejected. Vanquished. Expelled. Removed. Guaranteed! It doesn’t require faith in a certain deity, a visit to your therapist, changing to a paleo diet, meditating every day, or drinking more water. (Although there is little question all of these will help. They will certainly curtail a ton of the “negative six emotions” from arising in the first place!)
So what are the three magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative emotions squatting in the apartment of your mind? To find out, come back here tomorrow to read “Three Words Guaranteed to Immediately Banish Negative Emotions, Part II” or click the “follow” button at the top on the right to be notified each time we post something new.
To your success,
I want to thank Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., for spending her valuable time reviewing this series of posts and for sharing her depth of knowledge and insightful comments on this important topic with us. Her wisdom greatly enhanced the clarity and insightfulness of this series. Ms. Presley is an incredible hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about the changes she immediately ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire thus far – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. She usually helps new clients experience immediate and permanent change in a session or two. Don’t live in Los Angeles? It doesn’t matter: Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are equally effective as her in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
You must have a written, clear, “smell-able” Definite Major Life Purpose . Your purpose should move you and be worthy of your greatest efforts. Failing to have one is like failing to have a map or GPS and trying to find a specific house in a city you have never visited before. It is just not going to work – certainly not without a lot of unneeded stops and starts and asking random people for directions. Commit to the life you desire by writing down your life purpose right now, signing your name to it, carrying it around in your wallet or purse, and think about it throughout the day and read it aloud at least 3 times each day. Commit it to memory. This one step will probably be the difference in you living an exciting, adventurous, life of your dreams . . . and feeling like all your best efforts always come up short.
Live Strategically — Make methodical, detailed, long-term plans for your life purpose and the other goals you hold dear. Review your plans at least monthly and analyze how you are doing and what is working and what is not working. The Life you want will absolutely materialize if you make your purpose the thing you to which you give the most thought each day, and have good solid plans for bringing it into fruition. The other great thing about strategic thinking is that it will severely curtail the disappointment and failure you tend to feel when something goes wrong as your plans stretch well beyond this day or this week. Therefore, you will see failure in its proper place – as the waste of an hour or perhaps a day . . . but a mere bump in the road that will never stop you from getting to where you wish to go.
Incorporate these two items into your life and your dream life will emerge in a shockingly-short duration.