Category Archives: Character
What if answering ‘no’ to the first question automatically meant ‘yes’ to the second. Would you more urgency seek out your Life’s Purpose?
What if living in fear means that you aren’t pursuing what God wants you to accomplish? What if “keeping the commandments” is not your highest calling? What if your highest calling is pursuing an objective God hand-picked YOU to accomplish? What if God designed YOU with your positive AND negative aspects to make you the perfect person to accomplish something grand?
Would you answer God’s call?
YOU ARE SINGULARLY UNIQUE!
Out of an estimated 110,000,000,000 people to have lived on this planet, only one has possessed the exact combination of attitude, skills, knowledge, and passion that you do.
When you really think about it, that is an awesome thought! Out of more than 100 billion humans who have ever lived, you are singularly unique. You are literally irreplaceable! You are critically important to the human race!
You are literally irreplaceable!
If you fail to pursue your life purpose, you deprive this planet of your unique gift to the human race.
Consider this: What if you were meant to cure cancer, write a symphony, invent something amazing, be the Senior Pastor at a Mega-Church in Manhattan (or the beloved pastor of a 12-member Church in the middle of nowhere?) or pitch a perfect game 7 in a Cubs uniform to bring a world championship to Wrigley’s faithful?
But what if you thought about it quite a bit . . . but it seemed pretty hard and like it would take a long time to accomplish.
And you might fail.
So you never actually took action to get it done?
You settle for a life of quiet despair and hopeless mediocrity. . . knowing you could be so much more?
You obviously hurt yourself. You live in regret and misery most of your life. You hurt your children and strip them of many advantages you could have provided.
You hurt your family, your neighbors, and alma mater. You hurt your legacy. You hurt the economy. You hurt your House of Worship. You hurt me. You hurt the planet. You make needless the angels assigned to protect you. You defy the Almighty who created you — and only you — with your unique gifts.
Don’t do it! Don’t cheat us of your contribution: Give us what you’ve got!
God created you for the purpose of making this planet better. She designed each of us with a Purpose. God calls us towards that purpose. Our calling is not to bend ourselves into some ideal our parents, teachers, or religion tries to foist upon us. Our calling is most certainly NOT to avoid running afoul of ten negatively-framed commandments.
Your calling is not to become some theoretical perfect person by never making a mistake or taking any risks. Your calling is to make a bunch of errors so you can find out who you are . . . and become it.
Oh, and just so we are clear: No matter what self-delusional story I tell myself; I cannot be an effective witness for God while everyone can see I am not living up to my potential. No one is going to want to follow my God when they see I have God-given talents . . . that for some reason I refuse to use.
Our calling is to find out who we already are . . . and become it.
Our calling is to find out who we already are . . . and become it.
To living purposefully,
“I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
These three words will change your life if you let them.
Simply declare, “I am responsible!” and you liberate yourself from negative emotions, begin taking control of your life, and short-circuit and cancel out any negative emotions you may be experiencing. It doesn’t matter how long those negative emotions have unlawfully detained your thoughts, emotions, and well-being. The moment you declare, “I am responsible!” their reign of terror is ended as certainly as chopping down a tree results in its fruit dying.
Without saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions; no progress is possible. Once you start saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions, there are no limits to what you can be, do, have and become!
There is no such thing as a justified resentment.
There is no such thing as a justified resentment. Nice people suck and are lonely. Be kind — hated by some — but beloved by those who really matter. You can rationalize all day long — or you can be successful — but not both. Blaming and complaining send the message to your subconscious that it can be idle since you are waiting for someone else to get their act together. Accepting 100% responsibility demands the most out of your two most powerful motivators: Your subconscious mind and your emotions.
Saying “I am responsible!” whenever you start to feel upset frees you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to begin channeling your energies and enthusiasm into a productive response to those negative emotions. Being 100% responsible propels you in an entirely different, and completely fulfilling, direction.
Accepting 100% responsibility propels you towards the abundant life of your dreams.
Declaring “I am responsible!” is the Truth. Blaming your parents is a lie. Complaining about your education is a lie. Justifying your poor behavior because of your job, or boss, or lack of money: Lie, lie, lie. Rationalizing based on your religion, or pastor, or the gossip queen two rows down on the left: Three more lies. I AM RESPONSIBLE!
That is The Truth. And The Truth shall set you free!
No one else is responsible for your life: You are!
No one can hold you back or make decisions for you: Only you can!
So make this decision right now! “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
Make this decision right now! – “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
And then make this decision: “SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY! I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS. FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”
“SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY! I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS. FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”
To your freedom,
Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. spent her valuable time reviewing this series of posts for us and making them better. As you know, she is a beloved hypnotherapist. Take action now to become one of those clients who is always raving about the immediate and lasting change Dawnmarie ushered into their life. Contact her now to set up your appointment at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com, or review her website at dreamconversions.net. Dawnmarie will help you even if you don’t live in Los Angeles. Her telephone appointments are just as effective as her in-office meetings. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
We ended Part III looking at the difference between ‘niceness’ and ‘kindness.’ A few more thoughts follow before we discuss the three words that could make you happy virtually all the time.
The Difference Between Niceness and Kindness
Perhaps the most distinct difference is that a nice person is concerned with others’ feelings, while a kind person is concerned with others’ well-being. The kind person will remain concerned and kind – and outspoken — even at the expense of others’ feelings. In many cases, kindness on a grand scale costs the kind person dearly – sometime it even costs the kind person their life (Jesus and Dr. King, come to mind). Kind people are kind anyways. It is part of their character.
Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. Don’t be the hypersensitive, nice person, who never changes or takes risks. Don’t be nice or comply with others’ requests just so you don’t rock the boat. Doing so does not make you kind. It makes you nice: a sucker, and a fraud, and it hides the True You – the person we all wish we could get to know.
That is worth another read: If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
OK, super lame of me to do it yet again; put try to punch a hole in this logic. If you cannot find the fallacy in the logic, then we should all get busy eliminating these few behaviors and living lives where we are happy most of the time! If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
So how do we do it? If we could truly be happy most of the time by simply eliminating justification, rationalization, and blame – plus being hypersensitive and nice – why doesn’t everyone do it? What are the magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative squatter . . . leaving us only feeling our baseline of happiness?
Accepting 100% Responsibility
Say “I am responsible.”
Did you feel the power?
No. This isn’t hokey. If you didn’t feel it, try it again. “I am responsible.”
The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.
The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.
Accepting 100% responsibility instantly stops the bad feelings and immediately forces your mind to begin working on a solution to the issues upon which the negative emotions Trojan Horsed their way inside your psyche.
It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings. The scapegoat we tend to blame, complaint about, and use as a means to justify and rationalize our negative feelings is NOT the cause of those feelings.
It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.
The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.
The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.
Lack of clarity is the root of negative emotions.
So, if negative emotions are the disease; purpose and clarity are the cure.
The moment we accept 100% responsibility – we might not even be clear on the solution, yet – we allow our mind to immediately begin searching for the perfect solution to the problem — instead of employing our mind’s vast capabilities trying to designate a scapegoat and concoct a number of way to blame that person or event for everything that is wrong in our life.
The final installment of this series: “I AM RESPONSIBLE!” will follow tomorrow. Bookmark your browser or click the follow button on the right at the top to ensure you don’t miss it.
Because, as you know, if you miss it – you are responsible.
From my heart to yours,
Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., thank you for you review and editing of these posts. Your depth and knowledge on this complex topic has proven priceless.
Ms. Presley is a terrific hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about her. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire – or in the time frame you want – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail. Go to her office in Los Angeles County and you will usually leave having already made permanent changes Don’t live in Los Angeles? No worries. Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life on track today! You may review her website at dreamconversions.net.
We know we can be victorious over negative emotions by remaining on guard against the four types of Trojan Horses in which they hide. In Part II we discussed Justification and Rationalization. In this post we look at the remaining two Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse.
Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse
3. Blaming and Complaining. As humans, our penchant is to blame (and then usually complain about) situations, occurrences, and people for the circumstances of our life. Doing so is analogous to owning a large fruit orchard. I need to constantly remain cognizant of the kind of fruit my orchard is producing. When I find a particular tree is growing nothing but Blame Apples, Gripe Vines, Complaint-ains; I need to chop down that tree. The moment I sever the trunk, I irrevocably extinguish the ability of its fruit to survive. Sure, some fruit may survive for a few days or perhaps a week… but the fruit will die in short order and no new fruit will take its place. Accordingly, when you notice you are blaming, griping, or complaining, you must identify the cause and set your saw or axe to work immediately. Otherwise, you risk the disease spreading to the rest of your orchard.
4. Hypersensitivity. Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. That is what “nice” people do. Nice people are generally the ones afflicted with the disease of hypersensitivity.
“Being nice?” you may question, “What is wrong with being nice?” Am I not supposed to “be nice?” Weren’t Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha, Martin Luther, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and most other great revolutionary leaders “nice”?
The emphatic answer is: NO!
None of them were nice!
One cannot be a revolutionary – – and be ‘nice’? If you disagree, you might be confusing ‘nice’ with ‘kind’ – just as I did for most of my life. But ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ are definitely not synonyms.
Niceness v. Kindness
Niceness is a personality trait. Kindness is a feature of one’s character.
Niceness is a self-serving, self-protecting bunker in which a coward hides — hoping that by not offending anyone they will be liked.
Kindness, on the other hand, is others-centered. A kind person will not hesitate to challenge unjust practices and put deceitful people on blast. A kind person knows that what they stand up for will undoubtedly cause them suffering, ridicule, and to be hated by many. The kind person speaks and acts against injustice simply because it is the right thing to do. The kind person does so at great personal expense. The kind person does so anyway.
A nice person would never do such a thing, because a nice person is all about themselves. A nice person is not about others, as they usually claim to be. A nice person agrees with others’ because they have no backbone. A nice person don’t want to offend – even when someone is behaving offensively. A nice person complies to avoid confrontation – even when someone or something needs to be confronted.
The nice person is a coward who hides who they really are, hoping to be loved. Unfortunately, the nice person lives in self-delusion by this hope. How can one ever be loved, if one never shows the world who they really are? How can one even love or respect themselves . . . if they never stand up for what they believe? So while another fake person may grow to ‘love’ the nice person’s illusory facade; no one can ever truly love the nice person because they only ever reveal their fake exterior to the world.
The kind person, on the other hand, strolls through the world unafraid. The kind person knows they will be hated by most people they encounter because they speak their truth and stand against the forces of deception and tyranny. But in doing so, the kind person will always be beloved by the few who would see this planet become a better place: a world filled with peace, joy, truth, love, justice and understanding.
Our deep appreciation goes to Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. for her valuable time she contributed to making this blog series better. We thank her for her review, depth of knowledge, and insightful comments and edits. Ms. Presley’s hypnotherapy clients rave about the changes she ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the progress you desire – or as rapidly as you want — contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. New clients invariably experience lasting change in a session or two. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Los Angeles as Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective as in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
We all want to be happy. We intuitively understand that the positive emotion of happiness is a by-product of living a purposeful, productive, fulfilling life. And, this, in turn, produces a life abundant with peace of mind, joy, truth, and love. You probably also know that if you are living a purposeful, productive life there are only six basic barriers to happiness: the negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and rage.
The six basic barriers to happiness are the negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and rage.
We often envision happiness in terms of it fluctuating up and down like the temperature outdoors. But that is an inaccurate model of how humans actually experience happiness. Once a human is purposefully engaged in a productive venture — happiness exists. If you feel that your work helps others and is worthy of your daily effort — your happiness does not fluctuate much at all. What is actually happening when I feel less happy than normal is that I am concurrently experiencing one or more of the “negative six emotions.” These negative emotions cause us to feel less happy than we normally do. When we allow ourselves to feel one or more of the “negative six” more powerfully than our happiness, we describe that result as ‘feeling unhappy.’ But the happiness is still there in the background, just as it always is. We simply cannot feel it since we are choosing to experience the negative emotions more intensely at that time. To return to the state of happy, then, all that is necessary is to remove the negative emotion(s) interfering with our ability to feel, experience, and appreciate our happiness.
Removing Negative Emotions
O.K., that sounds good in theory. But removing negative emotions is much more difficult in reality, correct? I mean, it is much tougher to remove a negative emotion than just follow the simplistic advice we are often given to “just think positively.” Right? We cannot just say a few magic words and have negative emotions disappear as easily as a magician waves his wand through the air. Isn’t that true? Well, actually; no. It is that simple. That is all that is required. A few magic words and perhaps an ‘abra-cadabra.’ Or an ‘a la kazam’. ‘Voila!’ If you prefer. And the negative emotions are gone. Banished. Ejected. Vanquished. Expelled. Removed. Guaranteed! It doesn’t require faith in a certain deity, a visit to your therapist, changing to a paleo diet, meditating every day, or drinking more water. (Although there is little question all of these will help. They will certainly curtail a ton of the “negative six emotions” from arising in the first place!)
So what are the three magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative emotions squatting in the apartment of your mind? To find out, come back here tomorrow to read “Three Words Guaranteed to Immediately Banish Negative Emotions, Part II” or click the “follow” button at the top on the right to be notified each time we post something new.
To your success,
I want to thank Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., for spending her valuable time reviewing this series of posts and for sharing her depth of knowledge and insightful comments on this important topic with us. Her wisdom greatly enhanced the clarity and insightfulness of this series. Ms. Presley is an incredible hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about the changes she immediately ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire thus far – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. She usually helps new clients experience immediate and permanent change in a session or two. Don’t live in Los Angeles? It doesn’t matter: Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are equally effective as her in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
More Fun Personal Development Ideas
Enlist a Mentor. As many of the pioneers of personal development often said: “The easiest road to success is to find someone who has accomplished what you want to accomplish, and do what they have done. Think about the people in your life who you look up to. What qualities and characteristics do they possess that you would like to learn? Decide that you will approach them, and let them know what you admire about them — and ask for their help in adopting some of the characteristics you admire. There are very few people in this world who will turn down such a request. As an added bonus, you might find them opening doors for your future that you could never have foreseen or imagined.
Take a Closer Look at Your Friends. Now that you have networked with someone on the outer perimeter of your social circle, look at those closest to you. We all have amazing qualities. Demand of yourself the discipline to start really paying attention to the awesome qualities of your family and closest friends. Let them know about those qualities and ask them to teach you how to acquire those characteristics you admire.
Eliminate Hatred in Your Life. Only in the last few years has science really begun to understand how damaging it is for us, as humans, to carry around hatred. It does nothing to punish the object of our hate. Instead, it wrecks our life, saps our vitality, and crushes our dreams. We devastate ourselves and our future — and usually the other person doesn’t have a clue how we feel. Decide now that you are not going to let ‘hate’ zap any more of your vital energy or destroy your peace of mind. Abraham Lincoln said, “The best way to destroy an enemy . . . is to make him a friend.”
“The best way to destroy an enemy . . . is to make him a friend.” – Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President
If you do anything of importance with your life, there will be people who oppose you and say mean things about you. It is so seductively easy to hate them back. It is also toxic quicksand. It not only damages you, but it is probably a more difficult habit to break than heroin. It seems incredibly hard to love these folks in return for their hate. But it is rewarding on a scale like almost nothing else in life. Being able to forgive and show love to those who despise you reminds you that you are 100% responsible for your life and fills you with peace. Who most hates you? Take actions, right now and send them an email or text. Apologize if you have been wrong. Humble yourself to them. Show them love. See if you can find closure on past arguments. If they refuse, make the decision to love them all the harder. Why? Because it is now they who are suffering…and that sucks as you know. But being free of your attachment to hatred is liberating and infuses you with peace, joy, truth, and love.
Click here to read Part III in this series, Fun Personal Development Done Write
NOTE: This is part two of two. You should first read “You Can Be Anything in Life…Once You Decide To Not Be Who You Are Supposed To Be“
In part one we described how much the rest of this planet will miss your contribution(s) if you elect to become what your parent or priest or teacher or religion wants . . . instead of what you want to be.
But I want their approval.
You want them to be proud of you? Your friends and family are going to be proud of you when you are living in such a fashion that you are content and fulfilled. And if they are not, they don’t deserve the title ‘friend’ or even ‘family.’ And what happens when you cure cancer, or win the Nobel Peace Prize, or Pulitzer, or discover a new animal species, or invent something that revolutionizes the world. . . you think they are not going to be proud then?!
And, uh, you aren’t going to do any of those thing ‘being a good little worker bee,’ trudging in to a little job you hate, in your tiny little corporate cube each week. Doing work that you can’t stand. Just to “make a living.”
But let’s be clear: You are just “making an existence.” Working at something you don’t love is most certainly not “making a living.”
I know it takes courage to quit and find something you love. Especially when it seems like everybody wants you to “play it safe.”
I am sure Edison’s friends and family told him to ‘play it safe’.
But in daytime, of course, since people couldn’t socialize at night before he invented the light bulb.
I am sure that’s what Michael Jordan’s friends and family told him after he got cut from the basketball team his first year in high school.
Before he revolutionized the game, team sports in general, and the athletic apparel industry.
I am sure ‘play it safe’ was advice that Martin Luther King, Jr. heard many, many times.
But mostly from African-American folk. Since back then we openly, notoriously, and chillingly discriminated against people based solely on the amount of pigment in their skin.
Luckily, for all of us, the Good Reverend “Had A Dream” and he would not be silenced. Not by the nay-sayers. Not by those who wanted him to “play it safe.” Dr. King’s voice couldn’t even be silenced by a cowardly assassin’s bullet.
I promise you that if Dr. King was given the choice to live to a hundred years of age doing a ‘corporate job’ he hated or die in the prime of his life doing what he loved. And what he knew needed doing. And what he knew God had blessed him and designed him to do.
He would choose the assassin’s bullet without hesitation.
How do I know that? Because Dr. King got to live before he died.
We are all going to die. Every one of us. Though we don’t know the exact day, we know that day is coming. The real question is not whether we are doing to die. Or when that day will be.
The real question is: Will we choose to live before that day arrives?
We are all going to die. Every one of us. Though we don’t know the exact day, we know that day is coming. The real question is not whether we are doing to die. Or when that day will be. The real question is: Will we choose to live before that day arrives?
My hope and prayer is that you choose wisely.
From my heart to yours,
Don’t be one of the majority of humans who spends their entire life trying to live up to their parent’s expectations, or what society attempts to mold them into. Don’t become what your boss or job demands of you. Definitely don’t turn into the person your pastor or religion insists is proper.
None of them are going to die on YOUR deathbed. You are.
None of them are going to intercede for you at the “Final Judgment.” You must give your own account of how you spent your life. And Why. And none will live with the innumerable regrets that you failed to become want you always dreamed and what you most wanted.
That’s not a typo: We, the other 8 billion of us who share this planet with you, We will regret that choice.
We will regret the fact that you were supposed to find the cure for cancer…but you became a lawyer . . . because your mom insisted you go to law school.
We will regret you didn’t save an innocent person from the death penalty…because all the men in your family became doctors. So you did, too. Even though you really don’t care that much for medicine.
We will regret the fact your leadership could have ushered in world peace…but your religion teaches that only bad people seek fame and power. So you didn’t run for president.
We will lament that you did not become who you are.
We are all designed for greatness: whether on the grandest world stage – or ‘merely’ being an excellent mom, awesome co-worker, nurturing wife, and the neighbor where all the kids want to hang out.
Maybe you are a dreamer. Not the hard worker and meticulous student. DREAM!
Maybe you are not serious and responsible. Like most musicians. PLAY and SING!
Maybe you feel going to church or synagogue each week is a waste of time. THEN HONOR GOD AND GO DO WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE!! Do you really believe God is so small and petty that He wants your forced ‘allegiance.’ He could have compelled that if He is truly God. Instead, He gave you free will. Why? Because He wants you to be FREE! He wants you to become…whoever YOU want to be.
And you are not free if you are pursuing your life on the basis of what someone else wants. Quit living your parent’s or pastor’s or boss’ life. It is time to live your life!
I know, I know: You have to. You need that “secure, safe career” and that corporate cubicle where you don’t make a difference, but it’s what you should do so you can ‘be secure.”
NEWSFLASH: There is NO security in this world. Your job, spouse, kids, home, freedom . . . everything could be gone at any instant. You KNOW this is true. The only security that exists is knowing you showed up. That even when life tried to pummel you, you weathered the storm on Your Terms. Doing exactly what You Wanted To Do.
Remember, the people telling you how to live your life are telling you what they think would bring you happiness.
But only you can decide what makes you happy.
From my heart to yours,
This was Part 1 of 2. Continue by reading Part 2 – BE HAPPY: BECOME WHOEVER YOU WISH!
“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing themselves.” – Leo Tolstoy
Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing themselves. – Leo Tolstoy
All change must begin with me. My life’s work, my purpose, my mission, even my grand plan to make the world a better place: All change automatically as I change.
But trying to start there ensures that my plan, my purpose, and my mission will all be missing a critical component. Me!
Work on you. Design the Life of your dreams and decide you will never settle for anything less. Your purpose, mission, and grand life plan should all fit into, and complement, that dream life you have designed.
Otherwise, you might “gain the whole world” … but never experience the joy, abundance, and fulfilment this Life is waiting to bestow on you.
From my heart to yours,
In his 21 Suggestions for Success, H. Jackson Brown, Jr. declares as number one: “Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.”
“Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Why we don’t pay this more attention is beyond me. It should be taught to us in school. Required to be memorized before a marriage license is issued. Printed in large letters at any facility where one might go on a date. It probably should be read to us in the womb.
The only question I have with regard to the veracity of Mr. Brown’s First Success Suggestion . . . is whether his affixed percentage is high enough.
Readers of The Prefixed Life know that we preach about how to make significant changes in life, we must accept 100% responsibility for each area of our life: For our job, where we live, our income level, physical health, etc. But are we really 100% responsible for our Love Life?
What if I am living some place where it is not just a funny saying, but in truth there simply are no ‘good men’ left? Or, perhaps my ex-girlfriend went psycho and slept with every single guy at the bar one night because I implied she wasn’t a good reader? Or maybe my spouse and I argue every single night? Am I really responsible for another person, even when they act irresponsibly? Even if I check with my friends and my therapist and even my lawyer . . .and they all agree I am behaving perfectly while my partner . . . is clearly the one who is mostly at fault? Even then?
Well, no, of course. You cannot control how another person acts. Nor should you — even if you possessed that power.
So accepting 100% responsibility might not ‘technically’ be completely accurate.
But failing to accept 100% responsibility for your love life will almost certainly result in you spending months, if not years, in maintaining romantic relationships that ultimately fail. But that never happens in a vacuum. Those fleeting, ephemeral, unsatisfying relationships bring with them immense amounts of fear, pain, rejection, heartbreak, yelling, regret and left-upright toilet seats.
And all in exchange for what? Not much, in truth. Not in the long run.
Accepting 100% responsibility for your love life will have you weed those potential partners out quickly. Often in a single date. Accepting 100% responsibility will keep you in a space where whenever Prince or Princess Charming walks into your life – and it will not be long after you take full control of this area of your life — you will know it immediately and can start planning your fulfilling life together.
Don’t believe it?
Fine. Look, you can read this article and go right back to lying to yourself . . . if that’s what you want to do. But…wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier to simply admit something is jacked up in your Love Life, figure out what it is, fix it, and find the man or woman of your dreams?!?
And no, I am not talking about “someone who completes you.” That line from Jerry Macguire, complete with the music and emotional anchoring, did no favors to anyone who is single.
You know this. You have always known this: No human relationship that rests on “being completed” is EVER going to work. . . only God makes those relationships work — and look at the headaches He has getting us to buy in to surrendering to that kind of relationship.
NO! You must accept 100% responsibility for your life SO you may become complete! Once you do that, the right person will walk into your life. The perfect person for you. The one with whom you can celebrate your completeness together! Doesn’t that sound a lot more fun and fulfilling? Find the One with whom you can celebrate your completeness together!
You must be complete. NOT perfect! Complete. Anything less will doom your relationship with another human before it even begins. Be clear on that.
And, yes, once you accept this Truth and make a 100% personal commitment that nothing less is acceptable, that you will do whatever it takes to get to that place . . . once we let go of the ridiculous cattle-excrement-laden stories we tell ourselves, our lives begin to change at ludicrous speed.
It is is certainly easy to blame.
It is is certainly easy to blame. Our society practically conditions us out of the womb to learn how to blame others. And how could we not follow this conditioning? We still consider ourselves a “Christian nation’ here in the U.S. Look at the central role blame takes and how heavily it factors into the very first story we read in Christendom, where after taking the forbidden fruit and being confronted by God about it, Adam manages to blame both Eve and God by suggesting the fault was properly attributed to, “that woman You gave me.” Eve, in turn, tried to roll over on the serpent as the primary cause for the appearance on Earth of ‘sin’ and disobedience.
And yet, we usually smirk as we read the Genesis account. Neither Adam’s nor Eve’s feeble attempt to place the blame elsewhere seems particularly credible to us. Is it possible that attempting to blame someone or something else ALWAYS comes across as ridiculous and ALWAYS makes us look exceedingly foolish?
Perhaps after this many years since Adam and Eve it is time for us humans to grow a little bit, evolve if you will, and mature as a species?
We all know, deep down, that all blame really does is keep us mired in mediocrity. We all know that. Why are we so adamant that we wish to continue sucking? Is our pride and ego really that fragile?