Category Archives: Becoming Who You Are
What if answering ‘no’ to the first question automatically meant ‘yes’ to the second. Would you more urgency seek out your Life’s Purpose?
What if living in fear means that you aren’t pursuing what God wants you to accomplish? What if “keeping the commandments” is not your highest calling? What if your highest calling is pursuing an objective God hand-picked YOU to accomplish? What if God designed YOU with your positive AND negative aspects to make you the perfect person to accomplish something grand?
Would you answer God’s call?
YOU ARE SINGULARLY UNIQUE!
Out of an estimated 110,000,000,000 people to have lived on this planet, only one has possessed the exact combination of attitude, skills, knowledge, and passion that you do.
When you really think about it, that is an awesome thought! Out of more than 100 billion humans who have ever lived, you are singularly unique. You are literally irreplaceable! You are critically important to the human race!
You are literally irreplaceable!
If you fail to pursue your life purpose, you deprive this planet of your unique gift to the human race.
Consider this: What if you were meant to cure cancer, write a symphony, invent something amazing, be the Senior Pastor at a Mega-Church in Manhattan (or the beloved pastor of a 12-member Church in the middle of nowhere?) or pitch a perfect game 7 in a Cubs uniform to bring a world championship to Wrigley’s faithful?
But what if you thought about it quite a bit . . . but it seemed pretty hard and like it would take a long time to accomplish.
And you might fail.
So you never actually took action to get it done?
You settle for a life of quiet despair and hopeless mediocrity. . . knowing you could be so much more?
You obviously hurt yourself. You live in regret and misery most of your life. You hurt your children and strip them of many advantages you could have provided.
You hurt your family, your neighbors, and alma mater. You hurt your legacy. You hurt the economy. You hurt your House of Worship. You hurt me. You hurt the planet. You make needless the angels assigned to protect you. You defy the Almighty who created you — and only you — with your unique gifts.
Don’t do it! Don’t cheat us of your contribution: Give us what you’ve got!
God created you for the purpose of making this planet better. She designed each of us with a Purpose. God calls us towards that purpose. Our calling is not to bend ourselves into some ideal our parents, teachers, or religion tries to foist upon us. Our calling is most certainly NOT to avoid running afoul of ten negatively-framed commandments.
Your calling is not to become some theoretical perfect person by never making a mistake or taking any risks. Your calling is to make a bunch of errors so you can find out who you are . . . and become it.
Oh, and just so we are clear: No matter what self-delusional story I tell myself; I cannot be an effective witness for God while everyone can see I am not living up to my potential. No one is going to want to follow my God when they see I have God-given talents . . . that for some reason I refuse to use.
Our calling is to find out who we already are . . . and become it.
Our calling is to find out who we already are . . . and become it.
To living purposefully,
We know we can be victorious over negative emotions by remaining on guard against the four types of Trojan Horses in which they hide. In Part II we discussed Justification and Rationalization. In this post we look at the remaining two Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse.
Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse
3. Blaming and Complaining. As humans, our penchant is to blame (and then usually complain about) situations, occurrences, and people for the circumstances of our life. Doing so is analogous to owning a large fruit orchard. I need to constantly remain cognizant of the kind of fruit my orchard is producing. When I find a particular tree is growing nothing but Blame Apples, Gripe Vines, Complaint-ains; I need to chop down that tree. The moment I sever the trunk, I irrevocably extinguish the ability of its fruit to survive. Sure, some fruit may survive for a few days or perhaps a week… but the fruit will die in short order and no new fruit will take its place. Accordingly, when you notice you are blaming, griping, or complaining, you must identify the cause and set your saw or axe to work immediately. Otherwise, you risk the disease spreading to the rest of your orchard.
4. Hypersensitivity. Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. That is what “nice” people do. Nice people are generally the ones afflicted with the disease of hypersensitivity.
“Being nice?” you may question, “What is wrong with being nice?” Am I not supposed to “be nice?” Weren’t Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha, Martin Luther, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and most other great revolutionary leaders “nice”?
The emphatic answer is: NO!
None of them were nice!
One cannot be a revolutionary – – and be ‘nice’? If you disagree, you might be confusing ‘nice’ with ‘kind’ – just as I did for most of my life. But ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ are definitely not synonyms.
Niceness v. Kindness
Niceness is a personality trait. Kindness is a feature of one’s character.
Niceness is a self-serving, self-protecting bunker in which a coward hides — hoping that by not offending anyone they will be liked.
Kindness, on the other hand, is others-centered. A kind person will not hesitate to challenge unjust practices and put deceitful people on blast. A kind person knows that what they stand up for will undoubtedly cause them suffering, ridicule, and to be hated by many. The kind person speaks and acts against injustice simply because it is the right thing to do. The kind person does so at great personal expense. The kind person does so anyway.
A nice person would never do such a thing, because a nice person is all about themselves. A nice person is not about others, as they usually claim to be. A nice person agrees with others’ because they have no backbone. A nice person don’t want to offend – even when someone is behaving offensively. A nice person complies to avoid confrontation – even when someone or something needs to be confronted.
The nice person is a coward who hides who they really are, hoping to be loved. Unfortunately, the nice person lives in self-delusion by this hope. How can one ever be loved, if one never shows the world who they really are? How can one even love or respect themselves . . . if they never stand up for what they believe? So while another fake person may grow to ‘love’ the nice person’s illusory facade; no one can ever truly love the nice person because they only ever reveal their fake exterior to the world.
The kind person, on the other hand, strolls through the world unafraid. The kind person knows they will be hated by most people they encounter because they speak their truth and stand against the forces of deception and tyranny. But in doing so, the kind person will always be beloved by the few who would see this planet become a better place: a world filled with peace, joy, truth, love, justice and understanding.
Our deep appreciation goes to Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. for her valuable time she contributed to making this blog series better. We thank her for her review, depth of knowledge, and insightful comments and edits. Ms. Presley’s hypnotherapy clients rave about the changes she ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the progress you desire – or as rapidly as you want — contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. New clients invariably experience lasting change in a session or two. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Los Angeles as Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective as in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
NOTE: This is part two of two. You should first read “You Can Be Anything in Life…Once You Decide To Not Be Who You Are Supposed To Be“
In part one we described how much the rest of this planet will miss your contribution(s) if you elect to become what your parent or priest or teacher or religion wants . . . instead of what you want to be.
But I want their approval.
You want them to be proud of you? Your friends and family are going to be proud of you when you are living in such a fashion that you are content and fulfilled. And if they are not, they don’t deserve the title ‘friend’ or even ‘family.’ And what happens when you cure cancer, or win the Nobel Peace Prize, or Pulitzer, or discover a new animal species, or invent something that revolutionizes the world. . . you think they are not going to be proud then?!
And, uh, you aren’t going to do any of those thing ‘being a good little worker bee,’ trudging in to a little job you hate, in your tiny little corporate cube each week. Doing work that you can’t stand. Just to “make a living.”
But let’s be clear: You are just “making an existence.” Working at something you don’t love is most certainly not “making a living.”
I know it takes courage to quit and find something you love. Especially when it seems like everybody wants you to “play it safe.”
I am sure Edison’s friends and family told him to ‘play it safe’.
But in daytime, of course, since people couldn’t socialize at night before he invented the light bulb.
I am sure that’s what Michael Jordan’s friends and family told him after he got cut from the basketball team his first year in high school.
Before he revolutionized the game, team sports in general, and the athletic apparel industry.
I am sure ‘play it safe’ was advice that Martin Luther King, Jr. heard many, many times.
But mostly from African-American folk. Since back then we openly, notoriously, and chillingly discriminated against people based solely on the amount of pigment in their skin.
Luckily, for all of us, the Good Reverend “Had A Dream” and he would not be silenced. Not by the nay-sayers. Not by those who wanted him to “play it safe.” Dr. King’s voice couldn’t even be silenced by a cowardly assassin’s bullet.
I promise you that if Dr. King was given the choice to live to a hundred years of age doing a ‘corporate job’ he hated or die in the prime of his life doing what he loved. And what he knew needed doing. And what he knew God had blessed him and designed him to do.
He would choose the assassin’s bullet without hesitation.
How do I know that? Because Dr. King got to live before he died.
We are all going to die. Every one of us. Though we don’t know the exact day, we know that day is coming. The real question is not whether we are doing to die. Or when that day will be.
The real question is: Will we choose to live before that day arrives?
We are all going to die. Every one of us. Though we don’t know the exact day, we know that day is coming. The real question is not whether we are doing to die. Or when that day will be. The real question is: Will we choose to live before that day arrives?
My hope and prayer is that you choose wisely.
From my heart to yours,
Don’t be one of the majority of humans who spends their entire life trying to live up to their parent’s expectations, or what society attempts to mold them into. Don’t become what your boss or job demands of you. Definitely don’t turn into the person your pastor or religion insists is proper.
None of them are going to die on YOUR deathbed. You are.
None of them are going to intercede for you at the “Final Judgment.” You must give your own account of how you spent your life. And Why. And none will live with the innumerable regrets that you failed to become want you always dreamed and what you most wanted.
That’s not a typo: We, the other 8 billion of us who share this planet with you, We will regret that choice.
We will regret the fact that you were supposed to find the cure for cancer…but you became a lawyer . . . because your mom insisted you go to law school.
We will regret you didn’t save an innocent person from the death penalty…because all the men in your family became doctors. So you did, too. Even though you really don’t care that much for medicine.
We will regret the fact your leadership could have ushered in world peace…but your religion teaches that only bad people seek fame and power. So you didn’t run for president.
We will lament that you did not become who you are.
We are all designed for greatness: whether on the grandest world stage – or ‘merely’ being an excellent mom, awesome co-worker, nurturing wife, and the neighbor where all the kids want to hang out.
Maybe you are a dreamer. Not the hard worker and meticulous student. DREAM!
Maybe you are not serious and responsible. Like most musicians. PLAY and SING!
Maybe you feel going to church or synagogue each week is a waste of time. THEN HONOR GOD AND GO DO WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE!! Do you really believe God is so small and petty that He wants your forced ‘allegiance.’ He could have compelled that if He is truly God. Instead, He gave you free will. Why? Because He wants you to be FREE! He wants you to become…whoever YOU want to be.
And you are not free if you are pursuing your life on the basis of what someone else wants. Quit living your parent’s or pastor’s or boss’ life. It is time to live your life!
I know, I know: You have to. You need that “secure, safe career” and that corporate cubicle where you don’t make a difference, but it’s what you should do so you can ‘be secure.”
NEWSFLASH: There is NO security in this world. Your job, spouse, kids, home, freedom . . . everything could be gone at any instant. You KNOW this is true. The only security that exists is knowing you showed up. That even when life tried to pummel you, you weathered the storm on Your Terms. Doing exactly what You Wanted To Do.
Remember, the people telling you how to live your life are telling you what they think would bring you happiness.
But only you can decide what makes you happy.
From my heart to yours,
This was Part 1 of 2. Continue by reading Part 2 – BE HAPPY: BECOME WHOEVER YOU WISH!
How does a prefix change the root word? Every English student must learn this lesson. Webster’s dictionary defines the “re” prefix in several ways. One being, as once more; afresh; or anew: reaccustom or reactivate. Another definition is ‘return to a previous state’ or restore
The Israelites had spent hundreds of years as slaves in Egypt. It was a vicious period of living in survival mode filled with decades of forgotten dreams and crushed hopes. It is not difficult to imagine that in their oppression and God’s apparent forsaking of them, they may have picked up new ideas about the true character and nature of God. After all, based on circumstantial evidence, believing in polytheism rather than in a one true God seemed to be working out alright for the Egyptians.
If we are honest with ourselves, even in times of prosperity it can be difficult to remember who God truly is, because it is almost intuitive to think that blessings are a response of proper actions. But how much more difficult is it to trust in God’s goodness when Life has been very traumatic, and it appears that our cries for help have fallen on deaf ears?
Sometimes we need to be reaquainted with the true heart of God when life becomes very dark.
When God does begin to move and answer the Israelites pleas for deliverance, He reveals Himself as one with complete dominance over their enemies. Yahweh literally uses ten plagues to defy and dismantle all of the Egyptian’s beliefs in the natural world while revealing the way he provides for His people.
For example, the Egyptians supreme deity was Ra, the Sun God.
(21) Then the Lord said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness spreads over Egypt—darkness that can be felt.” (22) So Moses stretched out his hand toward the sky, and total darkness covered all Egypt for three days. (23) No one could see anyone else or move about for three days. Yet all the Israelites had light in the places where they lived.
The Bible is pretty clear that we will have trouble. But thanks to God, we never have to live without light in the places where darkness can be tangibly felt.
Zech 9:12 “Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope, and I will restore twice as much to you.”
That is the power of the prefix “re”. God “re-wrote” my story through Jesus. For most of my adult Life, I did not have an interest in a personal relationship with Jesus. . . but my God of Love had other plans! And God always gets what He wants – just ask Jonah’s whale or Balaam’s Donkey.
I encourage you to develop a habit that would forever change my life. I decided to read about the Life of Jesus for an hour each day. I began and before long it became a habit. I was becoming “reborn” in more ways than one. It was during this time of personal renewal that I became a Christian – instead of merely a member of my religion – a “Churchian,” you might say. I discovered a Love that I never knew before.
And I came to believe, as the apostle John wrote, that God is Love.
Now that is “Rewarding”! I hope that you will spend a few minutes each day reading the first four books of the New Testament. It will change your Life!