Category Archives: Being 100% Responsible
Accepting That We Are Completely Responsible For Our Lives
“I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
These three words will change your life if you let them.
Simply declare, “I am responsible!” and you liberate yourself from negative emotions, begin taking control of your life, and short-circuit and cancel out any negative emotions you may be experiencing. It doesn’t matter how long those negative emotions have unlawfully detained your thoughts, emotions, and well-being. The moment you declare, “I am responsible!” their reign of terror is ended as certainly as chopping down a tree results in its fruit dying.
Without saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions; no progress is possible. Once you start saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions, there are no limits to what you can be, do, have and become!
There is no such thing as a justified resentment.
There is no such thing as a justified resentment. Nice people suck and are lonely. Be kind — hated by some — but beloved by those who really matter. You can rationalize all day long — or you can be successful — but not both. Blaming and complaining send the message to your subconscious that it can be idle since you are waiting for someone else to get their act together. Accepting 100% responsibility demands the most out of your two most powerful motivators: Your subconscious mind and your emotions.
Saying “I am responsible!” whenever you start to feel upset frees you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to begin channeling your energies and enthusiasm into a productive response to those negative emotions. Being 100% responsible propels you in an entirely different, and completely fulfilling, direction.
Accepting 100% responsibility propels you towards the abundant life of your dreams.
Declaring “I am responsible!” is the Truth. Blaming your parents is a lie. Complaining about your education is a lie. Justifying your poor behavior because of your job, or boss, or lack of money: Lie, lie, lie. Rationalizing based on your religion, or pastor, or the gossip queen two rows down on the left: Three more lies. I AM RESPONSIBLE!
That is The Truth. And The Truth shall set you free!
No one else is responsible for your life: You are!
No one can hold you back or make decisions for you: Only you can!
So make this decision right now! “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
Make this decision right now! – “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”
And then make this decision: “SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY! I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS. FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”
“SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY! I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS. FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”
To your freedom,
Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. spent her valuable time reviewing this series of posts for us and making them better. As you know, she is a beloved hypnotherapist. Take action now to become one of those clients who is always raving about the immediate and lasting change Dawnmarie ushered into their life. Contact her now to set up your appointment at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com, or review her website at dreamconversions.net. Dawnmarie will help you even if you don’t live in Los Angeles. Her telephone appointments are just as effective as her in-office meetings. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
We ended Part III looking at the difference between ‘niceness’ and ‘kindness.’ A few more thoughts follow before we discuss the three words that could make you happy virtually all the time.
The Difference Between Niceness and Kindness
Perhaps the most distinct difference is that a nice person is concerned with others’ feelings, while a kind person is concerned with others’ well-being. The kind person will remain concerned and kind – and outspoken — even at the expense of others’ feelings. In many cases, kindness on a grand scale costs the kind person dearly – sometime it even costs the kind person their life (Jesus and Dr. King, come to mind). Kind people are kind anyways. It is part of their character.
Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. Don’t be the hypersensitive, nice person, who never changes or takes risks. Don’t be nice or comply with others’ requests just so you don’t rock the boat. Doing so does not make you kind. It makes you nice: a sucker, and a fraud, and it hides the True You – the person we all wish we could get to know.
That is worth another read: If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
OK, super lame of me to do it yet again; put try to punch a hole in this logic. If you cannot find the fallacy in the logic, then we should all get busy eliminating these few behaviors and living lives where we are happy most of the time! If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.
So how do we do it? If we could truly be happy most of the time by simply eliminating justification, rationalization, and blame – plus being hypersensitive and nice – why doesn’t everyone do it? What are the magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative squatter . . . leaving us only feeling our baseline of happiness?
Accepting 100% Responsibility
Say “I am responsible.”
Did you feel the power?
No. This isn’t hokey. If you didn’t feel it, try it again. “I am responsible.”
The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.
The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.
Accepting 100% responsibility instantly stops the bad feelings and immediately forces your mind to begin working on a solution to the issues upon which the negative emotions Trojan Horsed their way inside your psyche.
It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings. The scapegoat we tend to blame, complaint about, and use as a means to justify and rationalize our negative feelings is NOT the cause of those feelings.
It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.
The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.
The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.
Lack of clarity is the root of negative emotions.
So, if negative emotions are the disease; purpose and clarity are the cure.
The moment we accept 100% responsibility – we might not even be clear on the solution, yet – we allow our mind to immediately begin searching for the perfect solution to the problem — instead of employing our mind’s vast capabilities trying to designate a scapegoat and concoct a number of way to blame that person or event for everything that is wrong in our life.
The final installment of this series: “I AM RESPONSIBLE!” will follow tomorrow. Bookmark your browser or click the follow button on the right at the top to ensure you don’t miss it.
Because, as you know, if you miss it – you are responsible.
From my heart to yours,
Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., thank you for you review and editing of these posts. Your depth and knowledge on this complex topic has proven priceless.
Ms. Presley is a terrific hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about her. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire – or in the time frame you want – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail. Go to her office in Los Angeles County and you will usually leave having already made permanent changes Don’t live in Los Angeles? No worries. Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life on track today! You may review her website at dreamconversions.net.
We know we can be victorious over negative emotions by remaining on guard against the four types of Trojan Horses in which they hide. In Part II we discussed Justification and Rationalization. In this post we look at the remaining two Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse.
Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse
3. Blaming and Complaining. As humans, our penchant is to blame (and then usually complain about) situations, occurrences, and people for the circumstances of our life. Doing so is analogous to owning a large fruit orchard. I need to constantly remain cognizant of the kind of fruit my orchard is producing. When I find a particular tree is growing nothing but Blame Apples, Gripe Vines, Complaint-ains; I need to chop down that tree. The moment I sever the trunk, I irrevocably extinguish the ability of its fruit to survive. Sure, some fruit may survive for a few days or perhaps a week… but the fruit will die in short order and no new fruit will take its place. Accordingly, when you notice you are blaming, griping, or complaining, you must identify the cause and set your saw or axe to work immediately. Otherwise, you risk the disease spreading to the rest of your orchard.
4. Hypersensitivity. Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not. That is what “nice” people do. Nice people are generally the ones afflicted with the disease of hypersensitivity.
“Being nice?” you may question, “What is wrong with being nice?” Am I not supposed to “be nice?” Weren’t Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha, Martin Luther, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and most other great revolutionary leaders “nice”?
The emphatic answer is: NO!
None of them were nice!
One cannot be a revolutionary – – and be ‘nice’? If you disagree, you might be confusing ‘nice’ with ‘kind’ – just as I did for most of my life. But ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ are definitely not synonyms.
Niceness v. Kindness
Niceness is a personality trait. Kindness is a feature of one’s character.
Niceness is a self-serving, self-protecting bunker in which a coward hides — hoping that by not offending anyone they will be liked.
Kindness, on the other hand, is others-centered. A kind person will not hesitate to challenge unjust practices and put deceitful people on blast. A kind person knows that what they stand up for will undoubtedly cause them suffering, ridicule, and to be hated by many. The kind person speaks and acts against injustice simply because it is the right thing to do. The kind person does so at great personal expense. The kind person does so anyway.
A nice person would never do such a thing, because a nice person is all about themselves. A nice person is not about others, as they usually claim to be. A nice person agrees with others’ because they have no backbone. A nice person don’t want to offend – even when someone is behaving offensively. A nice person complies to avoid confrontation – even when someone or something needs to be confronted.
The nice person is a coward who hides who they really are, hoping to be loved. Unfortunately, the nice person lives in self-delusion by this hope. How can one ever be loved, if one never shows the world who they really are? How can one even love or respect themselves . . . if they never stand up for what they believe? So while another fake person may grow to ‘love’ the nice person’s illusory facade; no one can ever truly love the nice person because they only ever reveal their fake exterior to the world.
The kind person, on the other hand, strolls through the world unafraid. The kind person knows they will be hated by most people they encounter because they speak their truth and stand against the forces of deception and tyranny. But in doing so, the kind person will always be beloved by the few who would see this planet become a better place: a world filled with peace, joy, truth, love, justice and understanding.
Our deep appreciation goes to Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. for her valuable time she contributed to making this blog series better. We thank her for her review, depth of knowledge, and insightful comments and edits. Ms. Presley’s hypnotherapy clients rave about the changes she ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the progress you desire – or as rapidly as you want — contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. New clients invariably experience lasting change in a session or two. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Los Angeles as Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective as in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
We all want to be happy. We intuitively understand that the positive emotion of happiness is a by-product of living a purposeful, productive, fulfilling life. And, this, in turn, produces a life abundant with peace of mind, joy, truth, and love. You probably also know that if you are living a purposeful, productive life there are only six basic barriers to happiness: the negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and rage.
The six basic barriers to happiness are the negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority, and rage.
We often envision happiness in terms of it fluctuating up and down like the temperature outdoors. But that is an inaccurate model of how humans actually experience happiness. Once a human is purposefully engaged in a productive venture — happiness exists. If you feel that your work helps others and is worthy of your daily effort — your happiness does not fluctuate much at all. What is actually happening when I feel less happy than normal is that I am concurrently experiencing one or more of the “negative six emotions.” These negative emotions cause us to feel less happy than we normally do. When we allow ourselves to feel one or more of the “negative six” more powerfully than our happiness, we describe that result as ‘feeling unhappy.’ But the happiness is still there in the background, just as it always is. We simply cannot feel it since we are choosing to experience the negative emotions more intensely at that time. To return to the state of happy, then, all that is necessary is to remove the negative emotion(s) interfering with our ability to feel, experience, and appreciate our happiness.
Removing Negative Emotions
O.K., that sounds good in theory. But removing negative emotions is much more difficult in reality, correct? I mean, it is much tougher to remove a negative emotion than just follow the simplistic advice we are often given to “just think positively.” Right? We cannot just say a few magic words and have negative emotions disappear as easily as a magician waves his wand through the air. Isn’t that true? Well, actually; no. It is that simple. That is all that is required. A few magic words and perhaps an ‘abra-cadabra.’ Or an ‘a la kazam’. ‘Voila!’ If you prefer. And the negative emotions are gone. Banished. Ejected. Vanquished. Expelled. Removed. Guaranteed! It doesn’t require faith in a certain deity, a visit to your therapist, changing to a paleo diet, meditating every day, or drinking more water. (Although there is little question all of these will help. They will certainly curtail a ton of the “negative six emotions” from arising in the first place!)
So what are the three magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative emotions squatting in the apartment of your mind? To find out, come back here tomorrow to read “Three Words Guaranteed to Immediately Banish Negative Emotions, Part II” or click the “follow” button at the top on the right to be notified each time we post something new.
To your success,
I want to thank Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., for spending her valuable time reviewing this series of posts and for sharing her depth of knowledge and insightful comments on this important topic with us. Her wisdom greatly enhanced the clarity and insightfulness of this series. Ms. Presley is an incredible hypnotherapist. Her clients rave about the changes she immediately ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire thus far – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com. She usually helps new clients experience immediate and permanent change in a session or two. Don’t live in Los Angeles? It doesn’t matter: Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are equally effective as her in-office visits. Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!
More Fun Personal Development Ideas
Enlist a Mentor. As many of the pioneers of personal development often said: “The easiest road to success is to find someone who has accomplished what you want to accomplish, and do what they have done. Think about the people in your life who you look up to. What qualities and characteristics do they possess that you would like to learn? Decide that you will approach them, and let them know what you admire about them — and ask for their help in adopting some of the characteristics you admire. There are very few people in this world who will turn down such a request. As an added bonus, you might find them opening doors for your future that you could never have foreseen or imagined.
Take a Closer Look at Your Friends. Now that you have networked with someone on the outer perimeter of your social circle, look at those closest to you. We all have amazing qualities. Demand of yourself the discipline to start really paying attention to the awesome qualities of your family and closest friends. Let them know about those qualities and ask them to teach you how to acquire those characteristics you admire.
Eliminate Hatred in Your Life. Only in the last few years has science really begun to understand how damaging it is for us, as humans, to carry around hatred. It does nothing to punish the object of our hate. Instead, it wrecks our life, saps our vitality, and crushes our dreams. We devastate ourselves and our future — and usually the other person doesn’t have a clue how we feel. Decide now that you are not going to let ‘hate’ zap any more of your vital energy or destroy your peace of mind. Abraham Lincoln said, “The best way to destroy an enemy . . . is to make him a friend.”
“The best way to destroy an enemy . . . is to make him a friend.” – Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President
If you do anything of importance with your life, there will be people who oppose you and say mean things about you. It is so seductively easy to hate them back. It is also toxic quicksand. It not only damages you, but it is probably a more difficult habit to break than heroin. It seems incredibly hard to love these folks in return for their hate. But it is rewarding on a scale like almost nothing else in life. Being able to forgive and show love to those who despise you reminds you that you are 100% responsible for your life and fills you with peace. Who most hates you? Take actions, right now and send them an email or text. Apologize if you have been wrong. Humble yourself to them. Show them love. See if you can find closure on past arguments. If they refuse, make the decision to love them all the harder. Why? Because it is now they who are suffering…and that sucks as you know. But being free of your attachment to hatred is liberating and infuses you with peace, joy, truth, and love.
Click here to read Part III in this series, Fun Personal Development Done Write
“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing themselves.” – Leo Tolstoy
Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing themselves. – Leo Tolstoy
All change must begin with me. My life’s work, my purpose, my mission, even my grand plan to make the world a better place: All change automatically as I change.
But trying to start there ensures that my plan, my purpose, and my mission will all be missing a critical component. Me!
Work on you. Design the Life of your dreams and decide you will never settle for anything less. Your purpose, mission, and grand life plan should all fit into, and complement, that dream life you have designed.
Otherwise, you might “gain the whole world” … but never experience the joy, abundance, and fulfilment this Life is waiting to bestow on you.
From my heart to yours,
In his 21 Suggestions for Success, H. Jackson Brown, Jr. declares as number one: “Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.”
“Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Why we don’t pay this more attention is beyond me. It should be taught to us in school. Required to be memorized before a marriage license is issued. Printed in large letters at any facility where one might go on a date. It probably should be read to us in the womb.
The only question I have with regard to the veracity of Mr. Brown’s First Success Suggestion . . . is whether his affixed percentage is high enough.
Readers of The Prefixed Life know that we preach about how to make significant changes in life, we must accept 100% responsibility for each area of our life: For our job, where we live, our income level, physical health, etc. But are we really 100% responsible for our Love Life?
What if I am living some place where it is not just a funny saying, but in truth there simply are no ‘good men’ left? Or, perhaps my ex-girlfriend went psycho and slept with every single guy at the bar one night because I implied she wasn’t a good reader? Or maybe my spouse and I argue every single night? Am I really responsible for another person, even when they act irresponsibly? Even if I check with my friends and my therapist and even my lawyer . . .and they all agree I am behaving perfectly while my partner . . . is clearly the one who is mostly at fault? Even then?
Well, no, of course. You cannot control how another person acts. Nor should you — even if you possessed that power.
So accepting 100% responsibility might not ‘technically’ be completely accurate.
But failing to accept 100% responsibility for your love life will almost certainly result in you spending months, if not years, in maintaining romantic relationships that ultimately fail. But that never happens in a vacuum. Those fleeting, ephemeral, unsatisfying relationships bring with them immense amounts of fear, pain, rejection, heartbreak, yelling, regret and left-upright toilet seats.
And all in exchange for what? Not much, in truth. Not in the long run.
Accepting 100% responsibility for your love life will have you weed those potential partners out quickly. Often in a single date. Accepting 100% responsibility will keep you in a space where whenever Prince or Princess Charming walks into your life – and it will not be long after you take full control of this area of your life — you will know it immediately and can start planning your fulfilling life together.
Don’t believe it?
Fine. Look, you can read this article and go right back to lying to yourself . . . if that’s what you want to do. But…wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier to simply admit something is jacked up in your Love Life, figure out what it is, fix it, and find the man or woman of your dreams?!?
And no, I am not talking about “someone who completes you.” That line from Jerry Macguire, complete with the music and emotional anchoring, did no favors to anyone who is single.
You know this. You have always known this: No human relationship that rests on “being completed” is EVER going to work. . . only God makes those relationships work — and look at the headaches He has getting us to buy in to surrendering to that kind of relationship.
NO! You must accept 100% responsibility for your life SO you may become complete! Once you do that, the right person will walk into your life. The perfect person for you. The one with whom you can celebrate your completeness together! Doesn’t that sound a lot more fun and fulfilling? Find the One with whom you can celebrate your completeness together!
You must be complete. NOT perfect! Complete. Anything less will doom your relationship with another human before it even begins. Be clear on that.
And, yes, once you accept this Truth and make a 100% personal commitment that nothing less is acceptable, that you will do whatever it takes to get to that place . . . once we let go of the ridiculous cattle-excrement-laden stories we tell ourselves, our lives begin to change at ludicrous speed.
It is is certainly easy to blame.
It is is certainly easy to blame. Our society practically conditions us out of the womb to learn how to blame others. And how could we not follow this conditioning? We still consider ourselves a “Christian nation’ here in the U.S. Look at the central role blame takes and how heavily it factors into the very first story we read in Christendom, where after taking the forbidden fruit and being confronted by God about it, Adam manages to blame both Eve and God by suggesting the fault was properly attributed to, “that woman You gave me.” Eve, in turn, tried to roll over on the serpent as the primary cause for the appearance on Earth of ‘sin’ and disobedience.
And yet, we usually smirk as we read the Genesis account. Neither Adam’s nor Eve’s feeble attempt to place the blame elsewhere seems particularly credible to us. Is it possible that attempting to blame someone or something else ALWAYS comes across as ridiculous and ALWAYS makes us look exceedingly foolish?
Perhaps after this many years since Adam and Eve it is time for us humans to grow a little bit, evolve if you will, and mature as a species?
We all know, deep down, that all blame really does is keep us mired in mediocrity. We all know that. Why are we so adamant that we wish to continue sucking? Is our pride and ego really that fragile?
Okay. Fine. I am in. Where do I begin?
I admit I am 100% responsible and accept 100% responsibility for my Love Life!
(Click here for Part II of this post)
“Surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” E. Lee
“Surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” -E. Lee
With whom do you surround yourself?
Do they encourage you? Do they support your dreams? Do they applaud your vision?
Is your life rich with friends who make their dreams become reality?
Would emulating your friends routines and habits make you a better or worse person?
“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” – John Kuebler
The people you spend the most time with are a commentary on who you are. If you don’t believe in yourself, you will surround yourself with others who do not. Yes, faith is a powerful concept. And, yet, we often forget that it is not only something applicable in relationship to a deity. We must have or acquire faith in ourselves and our own potential.
Otherwise, we will never become able to push ourselves to becoming all of which we are capable. Doing so would risk us being disappointed, and of disappointing others.
Instead, we opt to settle for a mediocre life.
The funny thing is: Mediocre is never mediocre.
When your potential is great (and what human life is not?), mediocre feels like great pain mixed with constant, quiet desperation, and smells a lot like a skunk’s back side.
If that sounds at all familiar, perhaps it is time to make a couple of important changes.
As the late, great, Jim Rohn was fond of saying: “You are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time.” – Jim Rohn
Most people who are being honest with themselves will agree that Mr. Rohn’s saying is pretty much true. Think of its implications: it means if you would simply take the least encouraging of “The Five” and replace him or her with someone who is optimistic, encourages your dreams, applauds your vision, and works hard to make their ideas come true – that alone would radically change your life.
I am not saying to drop the least optimistic as a friend or shut them out of your life and never speak with them again. I am saying: perhaps a demotion of time allowing them to become the sixth-most time consuming person in your life . . . could change everything!
Isn’t it worth a try for a month or two?
Most of us had dreams in high school of conquering the world…and somewhere around our late 20s or early 30s we slowly starting letting go of our dreams. And now our “journey to the dark side seems complete.” We firmly play small, make excuses, and who knows when the last time I was actively and passionately pursuing one of my dreams.
Lucky for you, you aren’t Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader. The journey to the dark side . . . or any other side is NEVER complete. As long as you are breathing your journey is never complete – whether to the dark side or in becoming all you can be. There is nothing we can do today that is so good it guarantees our salvation. Conversely, there is nothing we can do so terrible, that we are damned forever.
That is the beauty of Life: Every day is a time to start afresh. An opportunity to become all we can be.
One thing that is important, though, is to take Jim Rohn’s message seriously. Who are the people that make you better? And who in your life drags you down? If you are serious about personal development, make the commitment to drop those that sink your self-esteem and confidence, those who constantly bring you drama instead of encouragement, and those who never do anything meaningful with their lives – at least ensure that you are not spending time with them in your top five time slots.
Instead, elevate your time spent with those who support you, love you, cherish the time you give them, and are fascinated by your vision for you, your community, and your world; and who are successful in the ways you wish to be successful.
But be forewarned: Only do this if you are really serious about wanting to improve. The change may shock you not only in terms of how much is possible, but how quickly, with just this one small tweak to your life.
To evolve and grow effortlessly, you need to surround yourself with those who see your potential and encourage you in the direction of your aspirations.
If you don’t think you have anyone in your circle of friends that will encourage you, then make ‘friends’ with people like Jim Rohn, Coach Corey Wayne, Anthony Robbins, Socrates, Jesus of Nazareth, etc. via books or YouTube until you draw people that uplift and encourage you into your life.
Don’t worry; they WILL come.
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” – Buddhist Saying
What action(s) do you need to take to put this post’s ideas into practice?
- Find one person you wish to become more like.
- Acquire her book or follow her post or find his YouTube videos.
- Devote at least 20 minutes a day to reading/listening or spending time with your “new” friend for 30 days. Each day put ONE tip or idea into your daily life.
- Keep on enthusiastically practicing each item you have learned for the full thirty days, by which time it will likely be pretty much automatic.
- Say “Thank You” when people complement you on “the change they can’t put their finger on.”
Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss this topic or anything else. If this post helped you, please “like” it below. If you think someone else might appreciate it, email it to them or share this post on your preferred social media outlet. Thank you for spending your precious time reading this post.
May you live long and in abundance,
J. Scot Blackburn, Esq.
A few thoughts on Life, success, Faith, learning, and personal growth:
When the student is ready the teacher will appear. – Unknown
The key to career success: When I work harder on myself than on my job, I will become successful at my Life and my career. – adapted from Jim Rohn
Faith is not believing God has the ability to do something. Faith is knowing He is going to do it. – Unknown
The person who stops being better . . . stops being good. – Oliver Cromwell
The Cromwell quote highlights the problem with much of Christianity’s hyper-focus on Commandment Keeping. Making “refraining from doing things” The Goal in our Lives — instead of A Goal — places our focus on “not doing things” instead of where are Life focus should always be: On becoming better people in every area of our Lives.
Christians should constantly strive to become better people in every area of their Lives.
This is not to be dismissive of the Commandments or brush them aside like they don’t mean anything. They are important. But trying to follow Commandments makes us Moral Boy and Girl Scouts. Nothing more and nothing less. Commandments do not Save. Jesus Saves!
By the same token, becoming Loving, outgoing people who genuinely care for our families, friends, neighbors, communities, finances, spirituality, and environments — and yearning for, and working towards, continued growth in these areas each and every day — won’t Save us. Jesus Saves!
But doing those things will make us CHRISTians instead of merely “moral boy scouts,” for it is when we Love that we truly become CHRISTians. When we love Jesus, ourselves, and others; that is when we truly embrace the first six letters in the name CHRISTian.
And CHRISTians who become better, instead of avoiding negative stuff, will be the ones who are actually equipped and trained to accomplish The Great Commission. And we can accomplish it, blow this milky way popsicle stand, and Go Home With Jesus! Now that is something to think about . . . and strive for!
Onward and upward,
Each of us wants authentic Love. We witness the search for Love all around us. We, ourselves, hunt for it in our family life, friendships, religions, boyfriend/girlfriends, and in our marriages. But it often eludes us. Many of us never find Love.
The answer is because most of us have bought into the idea promulgated on movies and on the television that Love begins and ends with a feeling. But True Love is not a feeling. True Love does not begin with a feeling. True, or Agape, Love begins with a decision. Agape Love is a decision to deem the needs of others’ on par with our own needs. True Love is the willingness to Live sacrificially and to give without expecting anything in return (and often times, that is exactly what you will receive in return – at least in the manner that humans consider such things).
True, or Agape, Love begins with a decision.
While Agape does not begin with feelings and is not based on feelings, feelings of True Love follow our decision to live in a State of Agape. Once the decision is made to Live Life caring for the needs of others as if they were our own needs, our lives begin to be filled with not just Love; but with Joy, Truth, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Don’t think this is a painless or easy process, however. It is often a thorny issue to overcome the obstacles to Love that all of us have erected as self-defense mechanisms against past wounds, hurts, disappointments, and rejections. One of the most important things we can do when embarking on a Journey to True Love is committing to Forgiveness.
By searching our souls and asking the forgiveness of those we have offended – God, Others, and especially Ourselves — we become able to move beyond the cycle of acrimony and animosity present in our Lives and embrace Agape.
Hand-in-hand with forgiveness is the concept of personal responsibility. So often, with our human pride, ego, and jealousy intact we wish to point the finger at someone else and lay the blame for our problems at their feet. But doing so, always separate us from True Love… and these things are almost always untrue. This is incredibly hard to accept sometimes. No one wants to believe that they are 100% responsible for everything in their Life.
And perhaps it is even technically incorrect from time-to-time. However, when I reach the place where instead of blaming my boss, or parents, or friend, or enemy, or co-worker, or my upbringing, or my Church culture, or the weather, or my financial condition, etc. etc. – and instead my immediate thoughts and words are, “I AM responsible!” I begin to witness my Life change in ways I could not imagine!
Why is this?
Because I cannot ‘fix’ anything I don’t believe is broken.
I cannot ‘fix’ anything I don’t believe is broken.
When I point the finger at someone else, or a circumstance, or nature, or even God or religion – what I am truly saying to the universe is that I am NOT responsible. I am saying that “he” or “she” or “they” or “it” did this thing that is causing my Life to suck.
As soon as I mature enough to say, “hey, my Life is not where I want it to be. What do I not like about it?”
And, then, no matter what the answer is: I immediately claim responsibility . . . I become 100% able to fix it…often very easily! Something I was completely incapable of doing seconds before I took 100% responsibility. It is surprisingly easy once I get into the habit of doing this, but my pride resists this fiercely until I get into this habit!
I failed the pop quiz? I AM 100% responsible.
My tire went flat in the middle of nowhere? I AM 100% responsible.
My girlfriend cheated on me? I AM 100% responsible.
I got fired, played a bad round of golf, had a dismal presentation at work, didn’t get a raise I should have received, my boyfriend hated the Christmas present I got him, my wife burned dinner this evening, my bank account is short $1,000. . .
I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE!
Once I can do this. Once I become responsible and forgive myself and others for everything that happens in my Life, Agape flows in and True Love is suddenly all around me. As I act with humility instead of blame, I find freedom and liberation to look beyond my own selfish desires to take hold of a Brother’s or Sister’s hand and help them.
True Love is not a feeling. True Love is a decision; perhaps a series of decisions.
And though it is initially painful; it is soooooooooo worth it.
Try it and see. It just might change everything.