Category Archives: Kindness

THREE WORDS: “I AM RESPONSIBLE” IMMEDIATELY OVERCOME ALL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Note: this is Part IV of this series.  We recommend reading Part I, Part II and Part III first.

We ended Part III looking at the difference between ‘niceness’ and ‘kindness.’  A few more thoughts follow before we discuss the three words that could make you happy virtually all the time.

Dr. King was very kind, and he definitely was not NICE!

Dr. King was very kind, and he definitely was not NICE!

The Difference Between Niceness and Kindness

Perhaps the most distinct difference is that a nice person is concerned with others’ feelings, while a kind person is concerned with others’ well-being.  The kind person will remain concerned and kind – and outspoken — even at the expense of others’ feelings.  In many cases, kindness on a grand scale costs the kind person dearly – sometime it even costs the kind person their life (Jesus and Dr. King, come to mind).  Kind people are kind anyways.  It is part of their character.

Being empathetic and compassionate is good.  Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not.  Don’t be the hypersensitive, nice person, who never changes or takes risks.  Don’t be nice or comply with others’ requests just so you don’t rock the boat.  Doing so does not make you kind.  It makes you nice: a sucker, and a fraud, and it hides the True You – the person we all wish we could get to know.

If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

That is worth another read:  If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

OK, super lame of me to do it yet again; put try to punch a hole in this logic.  If you cannot find the fallacy in the logic, then we should all get busy eliminating these few behaviors and living lives where we are happy most of the timeIf you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

Time to be Happy!

Time to be Happy!

So how do we do it? If we could truly be happy most of the time by simply eliminating justification, rationalization, and blame – plus being hypersensitive and nice – why doesn’t everyone do it?  What are the magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative squatter  . . . leaving us only feeling our baseline of happiness?

Accepting 100% Responsibility

Say “I am responsible.”

Did you feel the power?

No.  This isn’t hokey.  If you didn’t feel it, try it again.  “I am responsible.

The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.

The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back. 

Accepting 100% responsibility instantly stops the bad feelings and immediately forces your mind to begin working on a solution to the issues upon which the negative emotions Trojan Horsed their way inside your psyche.

Abundance: Living in Joy, Truth and Love!

Abundance: Living in Joy, Truth and Love!

It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.  The scapegoat we tend to blame, complaint about, and use as a means to justify and rationalize our negative feelings is NOT the cause of those feelings.

It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.

The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.

The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.

That’s it.

Lack of clarity is the root of negative emotions.

So, if negative emotions are the disease; purpose and clarity are the cure.

The moment we accept 100% responsibility – we might not even be clear on the solution, yet – we allow our mind to immediately begin searching for the perfect solution to the problem — instead of employing our mind’s vast capabilities trying to designate a scapegoat and concoct a number of way to blame that person or event for everything that is wrong in our life.

The final installment of this series: “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”  will follow tomorrow.  Bookmark your browser or click the follow button on the right at the top to ensure you don’t miss it.

Because, as you know, if you miss it – you are responsible.

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

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Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., thank you for you review and editing of these posts.  Your depth and knowledge on this complex topic has proven priceless.

Ms. Presley is a terrific hypnotherapist.  Her clients rave about her. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire – or in the time frame you want – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail. Go to her office in Los Angeles County and  you will usually leave having already made permanent changes  Don’t live in Los Angeles?  No worries. Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective.  Call Dawnmarie now and get your life on track today!  You may review her website at dreamconversions.net.

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THESE THREE WORDS WILL IMMEDIATELY EXPEL YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Note: this is Part III.  Part IV is here.  We recommend reading Part I and Part II first.

We know we can be victorious over negative emotions by remaining on guard against the four types of Trojan Horses in which they hide.  In Part II we discussed Justification and Rationalization.  In this post we look at the remaining two Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse.

Trojan Horses of Emotional Apocalypse

Blaming Others

Blaming Others

3.     Blaming and Complaining. As humans, our penchant is to blame (and then usually complain about) situations, occurrences, and people for the circumstances of our life. Doing so is analogous to owning a large fruit orchard. I need to constantly remain cognizant of the kind of fruit my orchard is producing.  When I find a particular tree is growing nothing but Blame Apples, Gripe Vines, Complaint-ains; I need to chop down that tree.  The moment I sever the trunk, I irrevocably extinguish the ability of its fruit to survive.  Sure, some fruit may survive for a few days or perhaps a week… but the fruit will die in short order and no new fruit will take its place.  Accordingly, when you notice you are blaming, griping, or complaining, you must identify the cause and set your saw or axe to work immediately.  Otherwise, you risk the disease spreading to the rest of your orchard.

4.     Hypersensitivity. Being empathetic and compassionate is good. Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not.  That is what “nice” people do.  Nice people are generally the ones afflicted with the disease of hypersensitivity.

Was Lincoln Nice...or Kind?

Was Lincoln Nice…or Kind?

“Being nice?” you may question, “What is wrong with being nice?”   Am I not supposed to “be nice?”  Weren’t Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha, Martin Luther, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and most other great revolutionary leaders “nice”?

The emphatic answer is:  NO!

None of them were nice!

One cannot be a revolutionary – – and be ‘nice’?  If you disagree, you might be confusing ‘nice’ with ‘kind’ – just as I did for most of my life.  But ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ are definitely not synonyms.

 

Niceness v. Kindness

Was Dr. King Nice... Or Kind?

Was Dr. King Nice… Or Kind?

Niceness is a personality trait.  Kindness is a feature of one’s character.

Niceness is a self-serving, self-protecting bunker in which a coward hides — hoping that by not offending anyone they will be liked.

Kindness, on the other hand, is others-centered.  A kind person will not hesitate to challenge unjust practices and put deceitful people on blast.  A kind person knows that what they stand up for will undoubtedly cause them suffering, ridicule, and to be hated by many.  The kind person speaks and acts against injustice simply because it is the right thing to do. The kind person does so at great personal expense.  The kind person does so anyway.

A nice person would never do such a thing, because a nice person is all about themselves.  A nice person is not about others, as they usually claim to be.  A nice person agrees with others’ because they have no backbone.  A nice person don’t want to offend – even when someone is behaving offensively.  A nice person complies to avoid confrontation – even when someone or something needs to be confronted.

The nice person is a coward who hides who they really are, hoping to be loved.  Unfortunately, the nice person lives in self-delusion by this hope.  How can one ever be loved, if one never shows the world who they really are?  How can one even love or respect themselves . . . if they never stand up for what they believe?  So while another fake person may grow to ‘love’ the nice person’s illusory facade; no one can ever truly love the nice person because they only ever reveal their fake exterior to the world.

Joan of Arc: Nice or Kind?

Joan of Arc: Nice or Kind?

The kind person, on the other hand, strolls through the world unafraid.  The kind person knows they will be hated by most people they encounter because they speak their truth and stand against the forces of deception and tyranny.  But in doing so, the kind person will always be beloved by the few who would see this planet become a better place: a world filled with peace, joy, truth, love, justice and understanding.

Tune in tomorrow for Part IV of this series.  Same bat time.  Same bat channel.  You can also follow this blog by clicking on the link to the right.  Or, return to Part I or Part II of this series.

To kindness,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

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Make Your Dreams Your Reality: Contact Dawnmarie Presley

Make Your Dreams Your Reality: Contact Dawnmarie Presley

Our deep appreciation goes to Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. for her valuable time she contributed to making this blog series better.  We thank her for her review, depth of knowledge, and insightful comments and edits.  Ms. Presley’s hypnotherapy clients rave about the changes she ushers into their lives. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the progress you desire – or as rapidly as you want — contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com.  New clients invariably experience lasting change in a session or two.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Los Angeles as Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective as in-office visits.  Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!

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