Category Archives: Responsibility

YOU ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE (Part II)

NOTE:  This is part II.  Click here to read Part I first.

Whether it’s our job (or job search), or where we live, or the amount of money we make, or the amount of money we have saved, or progress (or lack) towards our goals, our spiritual journey, the car we drive, the way we are raising our kids, how prestigious our home is, etc. etc. etc.  — at the end of the day, we can blame someone or something else, play the victim, and “feel” a tiny bit better in telling ourselves and the world we are not responsible since “that” situation or event caused it.  Or that I could do it except for “this” person.  Or if it wasn’t for this situation, I would definitely . . . .  Or perhaps that event.  Or maybe today it’s the weather.  Or the government.  Or the other political party.  Or my pastor.  Or my religion.

The Wages of Blame

Or . . . maybe its the ‘common thread’ tying all of the above together?

Me??!?  Nah.  Couldn’t be.

Me?!?

How about if we take the laboring oar and decide on a destination?  How about we decide to paddle our boat to that destination, come what may?  How about making a 100% decision that I will no longer complain of rapids or unfavorable winds or waves or sea turtles or that someone else is rich and got a faster boat when they were born.

How about I decide on My Destination and quit worrying about the boat some rich kid has.  After all, if I really wanted to be truthful, I would look around and likely notice that a lot of folk don’t even have boats.  They have an intertube or a piece of cardboard.  And many of them have made it to where they wished to go in life.  And every one of them who did reach their destination made a complete decision that they were 100% responsible for getting to wherever they wished to go.

How about you?  It requires only a simple decision to leave the comforting, but unsatisfying “ors” behind and set off immediately on this Voyage of Your Life.  Do you have the courage?

All we must do to have our dream life, now and forever, is to recognize we have prostituted our lives for our “ors”. . .  ‘Or’ that I could do it except for “this” person.  ‘Or’ this situation . . . .  ‘Or’ perhaps that event.  ‘Or’ maybe today it’s the weather.  ‘Or’ the government.  ‘Or’ the other political party.  ‘Or’ my pastor.  ‘Or’ my religion. ‘Or’ crappy childhood.

Are you really so tied to your life that you won’t even try another approach?

It really is as simple as deciding we are no longer willing to prostitute ourselves for cheap, and making instead, a 100% decision to leave our . . . ‘Or’ House.

It really is as simple as deciding we are no longer willing to prostitute ourselves for cheap, and making instead, a 100% decision to leave our  ‘Or’ House.

I can change.  You can change.  We all can change.  Often immediately.  But invariably in far less time than we ever thought possible.

And what if I am wrong.  What if it is not “quite that easy?”

I don’t know.  Try harder, I guess.  What I know without question is this:  If it is the most difficult thing you have ever done — it will still be a helluva lot easier than dragging that sign around everyday that says, “Look at me.  I’m a victim.  I’m a loser who is so defeated I can’t even admit it to myself what a loser I am.”

The Road is Not Hidden. My Path Not a Mystery. The Only Question is: Will I Choose It?

The worst part is that everyone else sees that sign from miles away.  Every single person.  Like Adam and Eve — we aren’t foolin’ anyone…except ourselves, perhaps.

Now, we try to cover it up by attracting people into our lives who won’t call us out on our B.S.  So, pretty soon our inner circle of friends consists of a whole group of irresponsible, self-deceiving, gossiping, blamers who carry around the same loser sign – but never call out each other for keeping that sign.  But it doesn’t change the fact that every single person in our life knows that we are simply making excuses.  Everyone knows we could be so much more.  Everyone knows we could have so much more.  We know it most of all.  We know we are like Adam or Eve proffering our ridiculous excuses to God.  We absolutely understand we aren’t fooling anybody.  Especially ourselves.  We are ensuring, though, that given some time — every single person we call a friend will suck just as much as we do . . . but at least we all belong to the same code of silence.  No one will call us out on our excuses.  Since we are all asphyxiating in that same mediocrity.

Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply claim 100% responsibility? 

Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply claim 100% responsibility?

Wouldn’t life be grand if I decide to identify the real issue?  And fix it?  Or am I so utterly delighted in my life of shame, guilt, remorse and the regret of not becoming all I am capable of . . . that I wish to stay as I am and continue carrying around my giant loser sign that is visible to everybody?


What the problem is not:

Excuses and Shame. Or Love and Life. You call that a TOUGH decision?

Starting is the hardest part.  Try as we might, we will tend to blame our ex.  Or perhaps many of our exes.  Or the person we know we should break up with, but haven’t gotten around to it just yet.  We may blame the distance between us, or the closeness. Or their table manner.  Or kids.  Or how they try to dodge responsibility my making lists. We sometimes will point the figure at sex and suggest that it is the realculprit:  And the rapid post-intercourse changes in our relationship makes it seem a viable and legitimate culprit. . .

But no.  It is me.  I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

But my partner used to be fun, spontaneous, a tad dangerous, mysterious, creative, and unpredictable.  And he used to ride a motorcycle.  She used to weigh 20 pounds less and didn’t require nearly as much makeup.  And she used to like having sex with me on a regular . . .

No.  No, thank you.  It is me.  I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

He used to be so focused and driven.  She used to work really hard at making our relationship work.  I give the same effort I always did . . . but my partner is slacking off for no reason I can think of.  I understand that in our parents’ day they had to work hard.  It’s easier now, but we all expect those same things now without the same hard work:  A nice car and home is practically guaranteed. . . certainly in the U.S., right?  So why has she given up on our goals?  Why has he jettisoned his passion?  Why is . . .

No!  I alone am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

But why?  Why does he no longer focus on these things with a passion?  I mean, sure, I expect to be entertained by my television for a few hours each day and assume that the road workers will keep the snow swept up so I can make it to my gym, or piano lesson, but so does everyone else.  Although I do see how expectation leads to entitlement, and I know entitlement leads to a lack of effort.  Ok, perhaps we are both giving slightly less effort than when we first met… and pretty soon we are no longer having sex.  And then every thing else starts to fall apart.  But really, s/he is failing a lot more than . . .

Blame or Become Responsible: It is 100% Your Choice.

No!  I have failed.  But I am done failing.  I am responsible! I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

And what about all my dreams and all the stories we heard as kids of what the “model relationship” should be. I don’t want to give up my Prince Charming meets James Bond plus 10% dangerous, unpredictable bad boy idealization.  I don’t want to settle for less than the Swedish Bikini Team plus Ms. America who does crazy unmentionable things in the bedroom . . . although still a virgin . . .

Oh wait.  I know,  I know.  I can have those qualities . . .all of them.  And more!  But only if

I admit I am 100% responsible and accept 100% responsibility for my Love Life!

Okay.  Fine.  I am in.  Where do I begin?

(Click here to return to Part I of this post)

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

about.me pill

Advertisements

THREE WORDS OF POWER – ‘I AM RESPONSIBLE!’ 

NOTE: this is Part V.  You should first click the following links to read Part I, Part II, Part III and Part IV prior to reading this post.

I AM RESPONSIBLE!

These three words will change your life if you let them.

Stay Focused!

Stay Focused!

Simply declare, “I am responsible!” and you liberate yourself from negative emotions, begin taking control of your life, and short-circuit and cancel out any negative emotions you may be experiencing.  It doesn’t matter how long those negative emotions have unlawfully detained your thoughts, emotions, and well-being.  The moment you declare, “I am responsible!” their reign of terror is ended as certainly as chopping down a tree results in its fruit dying.

Without saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions; no progress is possible.  Once you start saying “I am responsible!” to negative emotions, there are no limits to what you can be, do, have and become!

There is no such thing as a justified resentment.

There is no such thing as a justified resentment.  Nice people suck and are lonely.  Be kind — hated by some — but beloved by those who really matter.  You can rationalize all day long — or you can be successful — but not both.  Blaming and complaining send the message to your subconscious that it can be idle since you are waiting for someone else to get their act togetherAccepting 100% responsibility demands the most out of your two most powerful motivators:  Your subconscious mind and your emotions.

Will You Follow The Road Sign?

Will You Follow The Road Sign?

Saying “I am responsible!” whenever you start to feel upset frees you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to begin channeling your energies and enthusiasm into a productive response to those negative emotions.  Being 100% responsible propels you in an entirely different, and completely fulfilling, direction.

Accepting 100% responsibility propels you towards the abundant life of your dreams.

Declaring “I am responsible!” is the Truth.  Blaming your parents is a lie.  Complaining about your education is a lie.  Justifying your poor behavior because of your job, or boss, or lack of money:  Lie, lie, lie.  Rationalizing based on your religion, or pastor, or the gossip queen two rows down on the left:  Three more lies.   I AM RESPONSIBLE!

Abundance: Living in Joy, Truth and Love!

Abundance: Living in Joy, Truth and Love!

That is The Truth.  And The Truth shall set you free!

No one else is responsible for your life:  You are!

No one can hold you back or make decisions for you:  Only you can!

So make this decision right now!  “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”

Make this decision right now! –    I AM RESPONSIBLE!

And then make this decision: “SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY!  I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS.  FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!”

SINCE I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE, I COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF MY DREAMS A REALITY!  I NEITHER QUIT NOR BLAME OTHERS.  FOR I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS A REALITY!

To your freedom,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

about.me pill

Success: Can You See It?!?

Success: Can You See It?!?

This was Part V.  Click to read Part I, Part II, Part III, or Part IV.

Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht. spent her valuable time reviewing this series of posts for us and making them better.   As you know, she is a beloved hypnotherapist.  Take action now to become one of those clients who is always raving about the immediate and lasting change Dawnmarie ushered into their life.  Contact her now to set up your appointment at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail.com, or review her website at dreamconversions.net.  Dawnmarie will help you even if you don’t live in Los Angeles.  Her telephone appointments are just as effective as her in-office meetings.  Call Dawnmarie now and get your life back on track today!

THREE WORDS: “I AM RESPONSIBLE” IMMEDIATELY OVERCOME ALL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Note: this is Part IV of this series.  We recommend reading Part I, Part II and Part III first.

We ended Part III looking at the difference between ‘niceness’ and ‘kindness.’  A few more thoughts follow before we discuss the three words that could make you happy virtually all the time.

Dr. King was very kind, and he definitely was not NICE!

Dr. King was very kind, and he definitely was not NICE!

The Difference Between Niceness and Kindness

Perhaps the most distinct difference is that a nice person is concerned with others’ feelings, while a kind person is concerned with others’ well-being.  The kind person will remain concerned and kind – and outspoken — even at the expense of others’ feelings.  In many cases, kindness on a grand scale costs the kind person dearly – sometime it even costs the kind person their life (Jesus and Dr. King, come to mind).  Kind people are kind anyways.  It is part of their character.

Being empathetic and compassionate is good.  Being hyper-empathetic and hyper-compassionate is not.  Don’t be the hypersensitive, nice person, who never changes or takes risks.  Don’t be nice or comply with others’ requests just so you don’t rock the boat.  Doing so does not make you kind.  It makes you nice: a sucker, and a fraud, and it hides the True You – the person we all wish we could get to know.

If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

That is worth another read:  If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

OK, super lame of me to do it yet again; put try to punch a hole in this logic.  If you cannot find the fallacy in the logic, then we should all get busy eliminating these few behaviors and living lives where we are happy most of the timeIf you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

If you make a commitment to quit being hypersensitive and nice, complaining and blaming, rationalizing and justifying – you will, by definition, be happy almost all of the time.

Time to be Happy!

Time to be Happy!

So how do we do it? If we could truly be happy most of the time by simply eliminating justification, rationalization, and blame – plus being hypersensitive and nice – why doesn’t everyone do it?  What are the magic words guaranteed to instantly evict the unwelcome negative squatter  . . . leaving us only feeling our baseline of happiness?

Accepting 100% Responsibility

Say “I am responsible.”

Did you feel the power?

No.  This isn’t hokey.  If you didn’t feel it, try it again.  “I am responsible.

The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back.

The moment you claim 100% responsibility for your life and each event in your life, you immediately get your life back. 

Accepting 100% responsibility instantly stops the bad feelings and immediately forces your mind to begin working on a solution to the issues upon which the negative emotions Trojan Horsed their way inside your psyche.

Abundance: Living in Joy, Truth and Love!

Abundance: Living in Joy, Truth and Love!

It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.  The scapegoat we tend to blame, complaint about, and use as a means to justify and rationalize our negative feelings is NOT the cause of those feelings.

It is not the issue, the event, the situation, or the other person that causes our negative feelings.

The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.

The cause of negative emotions is being unclear about how we are going to respond.

That’s it.

Lack of clarity is the root of negative emotions.

So, if negative emotions are the disease; purpose and clarity are the cure.

The moment we accept 100% responsibility – we might not even be clear on the solution, yet – we allow our mind to immediately begin searching for the perfect solution to the problem — instead of employing our mind’s vast capabilities trying to designate a scapegoat and concoct a number of way to blame that person or event for everything that is wrong in our life.

The final installment of this series: “I AM RESPONSIBLE!”  will follow tomorrow.  Bookmark your browser or click the follow button on the right at the top to ensure you don’t miss it.

Because, as you know, if you miss it – you are responsible.

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

about.me pill

Dawnmarie Presley, C.Ht., thank you for you review and editing of these posts.  Your depth and knowledge on this complex topic has proven priceless.

Ms. Presley is a terrific hypnotherapist.  Her clients rave about her. If you want to make lasting changes but haven’t had the success you desire – or in the time frame you want – contact Dawnmarie now at 818.217.6176 or HypnoticOffice@gmail. Go to her office in Los Angeles County and  you will usually leave having already made permanent changes  Don’t live in Los Angeles?  No worries. Ms. Presley provides telephone sessions that are just as effective.  Call Dawnmarie now and get your life on track today!  You may review her website at dreamconversions.net.

%d bloggers like this: