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YOU ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE (Part II)

NOTE:  This is part II.  Click here to read Part I first.

Whether it’s our job (or job search), or where we live, or the amount of money we make, or the amount of money we have saved, or progress (or lack) towards our goals, our spiritual journey, the car we drive, the way we are raising our kids, how prestigious our home is, etc. etc. etc.  — at the end of the day, we can blame someone or something else, play the victim, and “feel” a tiny bit better in telling ourselves and the world we are not responsible since “that” situation or event caused it.  Or that I could do it except for “this” person.  Or if it wasn’t for this situation, I would definitely . . . .  Or perhaps that event.  Or maybe today it’s the weather.  Or the government.  Or the other political party.  Or my pastor.  Or my religion.

The Wages of Blame

Or . . . maybe its the ‘common thread’ tying all of the above together?

Me??!?  Nah.  Couldn’t be.

Me?!?

How about if we take the laboring oar and decide on a destination?  How about we decide to paddle our boat to that destination, come what may?  How about making a 100% decision that I will no longer complain of rapids or unfavorable winds or waves or sea turtles or that someone else is rich and got a faster boat when they were born.

How about I decide on My Destination and quit worrying about the boat some rich kid has.  After all, if I really wanted to be truthful, I would look around and likely notice that a lot of folk don’t even have boats.  They have an intertube or a piece of cardboard.  And many of them have made it to where they wished to go in life.  And every one of them who did reach their destination made a complete decision that they were 100% responsible for getting to wherever they wished to go.

How about you?  It requires only a simple decision to leave the comforting, but unsatisfying “ors” behind and set off immediately on this Voyage of Your Life.  Do you have the courage?

All we must do to have our dream life, now and forever, is to recognize we have prostituted our lives for our “ors”. . .  ‘Or’ that I could do it except for “this” person.  ‘Or’ this situation . . . .  ‘Or’ perhaps that event.  ‘Or’ maybe today it’s the weather.  ‘Or’ the government.  ‘Or’ the other political party.  ‘Or’ my pastor.  ‘Or’ my religion. ‘Or’ crappy childhood.

Are you really so tied to your life that you won’t even try another approach?

It really is as simple as deciding we are no longer willing to prostitute ourselves for cheap, and making instead, a 100% decision to leave our . . . ‘Or’ House.

It really is as simple as deciding we are no longer willing to prostitute ourselves for cheap, and making instead, a 100% decision to leave our  ‘Or’ House.

I can change.  You can change.  We all can change.  Often immediately.  But invariably in far less time than we ever thought possible.

And what if I am wrong.  What if it is not “quite that easy?”

I don’t know.  Try harder, I guess.  What I know without question is this:  If it is the most difficult thing you have ever done — it will still be a helluva lot easier than dragging that sign around everyday that says, “Look at me.  I’m a victim.  I’m a loser who is so defeated I can’t even admit it to myself what a loser I am.”

The Road is Not Hidden. My Path Not a Mystery. The Only Question is: Will I Choose It?

The worst part is that everyone else sees that sign from miles away.  Every single person.  Like Adam and Eve — we aren’t foolin’ anyone…except ourselves, perhaps.

Now, we try to cover it up by attracting people into our lives who won’t call us out on our B.S.  So, pretty soon our inner circle of friends consists of a whole group of irresponsible, self-deceiving, gossiping, blamers who carry around the same loser sign – but never call out each other for keeping that sign.  But it doesn’t change the fact that every single person in our life knows that we are simply making excuses.  Everyone knows we could be so much more.  Everyone knows we could have so much more.  We know it most of all.  We know we are like Adam or Eve proffering our ridiculous excuses to God.  We absolutely understand we aren’t fooling anybody.  Especially ourselves.  We are ensuring, though, that given some time — every single person we call a friend will suck just as much as we do . . . but at least we all belong to the same code of silence.  No one will call us out on our excuses.  Since we are all asphyxiating in that same mediocrity.

Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply claim 100% responsibility? 

Wouldn’t it be much easier to simply claim 100% responsibility?

Wouldn’t life be grand if I decide to identify the real issue?  And fix it?  Or am I so utterly delighted in my life of shame, guilt, remorse and the regret of not becoming all I am capable of . . . that I wish to stay as I am and continue carrying around my giant loser sign that is visible to everybody?


What the problem is not:

Excuses and Shame. Or Love and Life. You call that a TOUGH decision?

Starting is the hardest part.  Try as we might, we will tend to blame our ex.  Or perhaps many of our exes.  Or the person we know we should break up with, but haven’t gotten around to it just yet.  We may blame the distance between us, or the closeness. Or their table manner.  Or kids.  Or how they try to dodge responsibility my making lists. We sometimes will point the figure at sex and suggest that it is the realculprit:  And the rapid post-intercourse changes in our relationship makes it seem a viable and legitimate culprit. . .

But no.  It is me.  I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

But my partner used to be fun, spontaneous, a tad dangerous, mysterious, creative, and unpredictable.  And he used to ride a motorcycle.  She used to weigh 20 pounds less and didn’t require nearly as much makeup.  And she used to like having sex with me on a regular . . .

No.  No, thank you.  It is me.  I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

He used to be so focused and driven.  She used to work really hard at making our relationship work.  I give the same effort I always did . . . but my partner is slacking off for no reason I can think of.  I understand that in our parents’ day they had to work hard.  It’s easier now, but we all expect those same things now without the same hard work:  A nice car and home is practically guaranteed. . . certainly in the U.S., right?  So why has she given up on our goals?  Why has he jettisoned his passion?  Why is . . .

No!  I alone am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

But why?  Why does he no longer focus on these things with a passion?  I mean, sure, I expect to be entertained by my television for a few hours each day and assume that the road workers will keep the snow swept up so I can make it to my gym, or piano lesson, but so does everyone else.  Although I do see how expectation leads to entitlement, and I know entitlement leads to a lack of effort.  Ok, perhaps we are both giving slightly less effort than when we first met… and pretty soon we are no longer having sex.  And then every thing else starts to fall apart.  But really, s/he is failing a lot more than . . .

Blame or Become Responsible: It is 100% Your Choice.

No!  I have failed.  But I am done failing.  I am responsible! I am 100% responsible for my Love Life.

And what about all my dreams and all the stories we heard as kids of what the “model relationship” should be. I don’t want to give up my Prince Charming meets James Bond plus 10% dangerous, unpredictable bad boy idealization.  I don’t want to settle for less than the Swedish Bikini Team plus Ms. America who does crazy unmentionable things in the bedroom . . . although still a virgin . . .

Oh wait.  I know,  I know.  I can have those qualities . . .all of them.  And more!  But only if

I admit I am 100% responsible and accept 100% responsibility for my Love Life!

Okay.  Fine.  I am in.  Where do I begin?

(Click here to return to Part I of this post)

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

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FUN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT DONE WRITE

This post is Part III.  The original post was “Have Fun Improving Yourself” and Part II was “Making Personal Development Fun!”  In this post we focus on a couple of fun self improvement ideas for those who believe that the pen is more powerful, and more fun, than the sword.

“Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Collect the thoughts that have seemed to you like a trumpet blast.

Collect the thoughts that have seemed to you like a trumpet blast.

“Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Your Owner's Manual

Your Owner’s Manual

Create Your Personal Owner’s Manual. Uncle Ralph will be proud. You don’t have to call it The Holy Bible if that seems sacrilegious to you.  Call it your Life Handbook or Scotty b.’s Owner’s Manual (you may want to insert your own name in place of Scotty b. unless you, too, were named after a small canine) or something else equally clever.

The idea is to memorialize all the elements which make your life great when you practice them.  You will be shocked as you review it from time to time how many things that make your life great, we often forget while busy in this modern life.  Remind yourself in your Life Handbook how to live life on your terms.  Jot down those things that make you fully come alive.   Remember what you did to make those memorable days so great. You might choose to include your objectives, values and goals.  No one on earth could write a better manual for your life…than you.  So have fun investing in yourself!

It's Blog Time!

It’s Blog Time!

Start a personal development blog. Studies have shown that we usually retain about 10% of what we hear in a lecture and about 10% of what we read, and about 20% when we do both . . . but a whopping 90% of what we teach others!  Even if you start your blog solely for the selfish reason of trying to retain 90% of the information you gather – won’t it be cool to help and encourage others while you are doing it?

Additionally, once you are in the public’s eye you will not be tempted to half-ass things or take long periods off.  Your fans are salivating for your next blog post after all.  So accept the challenge, improve yourself, your writing skills, and help out people all around the globe at the same time.  Not a bad way to spend a couple hours each week, eh?

Write right,

Scotty b.

Facebook Jason Scot Blackburn Prefixed Life

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Return to the original post in this series, “Have Fun Improving Yourself” or go to Part II, “Making Personal Development Fun!

CAREER ADVICE: DO WHAT YOU SPEND TIME ON

The Partial Advice

We often hear the advice given to career seekers: “Do what you love” or “follow your passion.”

This is good advice, as far as it goes.  It is terrible advice, however, for both what it omits and the huge caveat it fails to mention.

Should you do what you love?  Should you follow your passion?  Of course.  As Confucius said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”  – Confucius

Philosopher Confucius

Philosopher Confucius

So why should we be cautious of the advice to “do what you love”?  Because we often aren’t clear on the one thing we truly love.  As humans, we often deceive ourselves.  When I try to focus on “what I Love” or “what I am passionate about,” I can think of dozens of things I love to do without breaking a sweat.

So now I still haven’t narrowed it down, but I realize it isn’t what I am doing.  If I was able to narrow my passion down to a single item, I still have to know I am capable of monetizing it (if the goal is to “do what I am passionate about,” as a job, I am going to need to be able to make a living at it, correct?)

The Better Analysis

The Better Analysis

The Full Advice

While it is critical to do something you love and have a passion for, the full advice that should be given to career seekers has three parts:

  1. Do something you are passionate about; and
  2. Do something you are good at; and
  3. Do something you will work hard at.
How Do You Spend Your Time?

How Do You Spend Your Time?

The way to discover which path will lead to all three of these things is to analyze what you spend your time on.  Time is the one resource that is a constant for every single person on this planet.  Rich people don’t get more of it.  You don’t get less opportunities for time if your country is poor or you are born into the wrong caste.  Time is not subject to the whims of inflation, the foreign exchange rate, or interest rates.  No matter what religion, ethnic group, gender, or political party you belong to – you receive the same 24 hours per day that every other person receives.

We all are going to die eventually.  And we all know it.  Each 24 hours brings us one day closer to the day we will die.  We don’t get to choose the day we will die – but we absolutely do get to decide whether we will LIVE before that day rolls around!  We exchange each 24 hours for one day of our life . . . whether we spent that day doing something we love, or with people we love – or as slave to the grind just making ends meet and wishing for the weekend.

We don’t get to choose the day we will die – but we absolutely do get to decide whether we will LIVE before that day rolls around!

Some people with the greatest faith have found themselves in the latter situation and simply quit, trusting in God that He would provide another job for them doing something they love.  The problem is:  a year or two into the new job, the person sometimes realizes that this is not their “Great Passion.”

You Don't Decide When You Will Die.  You Do Decide If You Will Live First!

You Don’t Decide When You Will Die. You Do Decide If You Will Live First!

The way to avoid all of this is not to “follow your passion” or “do what you love.”  Instead “follow what you do with your time.”  That is what you actually love.  What you spend time at, you will become better at.  As you become better, you will enjoy it more and more.  This in turn, will tend to make you love it.  As your passion grows, you will work hard to become better.  This will cause you to enjoy it even more.

And so on.

Ultimately, getting “stuck” in an endless loop like that. . . isn’t a bad way to spend your Life!

To finding the Time of your Life,

Scotty b.
about.me/AttorneyBlackburn

CHANGE YOURSELF. THEN CHANGE THE WORLD.

“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing themselves.”  – Leo Tolstoy

Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing themselves.  – Leo Tolstoy

All change must begin with me.  My life’s work, my purpose, my mission, even my grand plan to make the world a better place:  All change automatically as I change.

Dream. Inspire. Courage. Harmony.

Dream. Inspire. Courage. Harmony.

But trying to start there ensures that my plan, my purpose, and my mission will all be missing a critical component.  Me!

Work on you.  Design the Life of your dreams and decide you will never settle for anything less.  Your purpose, mission, and grand life plan should all fit into, and complement, that dream life you have designed.

Otherwise, you might “gain the whole world” … but never experience the joy, abundance, and fulfilment this Life is waiting to bestow on you.

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.
about.me/AttorneyBlackburn

OVERWHELMED? REGAIN YOUR LIFE BY EFFECTIVELY SETTING GOALS

We all feel overwhelmed at time.  This usually results from feeling like we have too much to do and that we will never get it all accomplished, or at least not in time.

training-396524_1280As Brian Tracy sagely reminds us, “Although there is never enough time to do everything, there is always enough time to do the most important things, and to stay with them until they are done right.” – Brian Tracy

To regain our mojo and again feel like we are back in control of our lives, then, we need to effectively set and accomplish goals.

Elements Іn Effective Goals Setting:

  1. Goals must be in writing. Until then, your goal is just a wish (and likely will go unfulfilled).
  2. Your written goal needs desire behind it (otherwise you will likely find a way to leave it undone)
  3. A goal must have a definite “end line” (another words, you must be able to definitely know when to check the box or cross through it indicating it has been accomplished).
  4. A goal must have a realistic time to be accomplished (without a time that pushes you to finish the goal, the item will actually ADD TO instead of alleviate your sense of overwhelm)
  5. Make sure you believe you are capable of accomplishing the goal (as Napolean Hill tells us, we can achieve whatever we believe. The inverse, of course, is that we are incapable of achieving something we do not have faith in ourselves to accomplish.  Especially when you feel overwhelmed these kind of goals making your list will be counter-productive.  The goal can stretch you, but you must have faith in your ability to get it done within the timeline)
  6. Judge your effectiveness in terms of showing up and performing rather than tying your self-esteem to the outcome (i.e. – never make “Going out with Suzy Jones” a goal. Instead make “asking out five girls I like” a goal.  Anytime you tie the accomplishment of a goal outside your ability to control, you set yourself up for failure.)
  7. Set goals based on the person you wish to become, not based on what your think your religion, parent, teacher or priest wants for your life. These people are important, but you are not living their life, right?  LIVE YOUR LIFE.  It is the only one you can live.
  8. Now that you have your goals, work your tail off to get them done (“Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.” – attributed to many great people, original source unknown)

archery-573771_1280“Do nоt wait; thе time will nеvеr bе ‘just right’. Start whеrе уоu stand аnd work wіth whаtеvеr tools уоu mау hаvе аt уоur command аnd better tools will bе fоund аs уоu gо along.” -Napoleon Hill

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.
about.me/AttorneyBlackburn

SUPERIOR PERSON:  CONFUCIUS’ IDEAS ABOUT PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

The Chinese teacher and philosopher, K’ung Fu-tzu, or as we say in the West, Confucius, lived from 551–479 BC.  Although Confucius understood that perfectionism was impossible in an individual’s life, he believed that a society could become near perfect if its people embraced “beautiful conduct” towards each other.  Confucius taught five fundamental ideas about how we should treat others:

  1. Always be considerate to others.
  2. Respect your ancestors.
  3. Try for harmony and balance in all things.
  4. Avoid extremes in behavior and emotion.
  5. If you live in peace and harmony, including with nature, then you are a spiritual person.
Confucius

Confucius

Confucius also promulgated five basic virtues which to which he believed each human should strive:

1) Kindness; 2) Righteousness; 3) Sobriety; 4) Wisdom; and  5) Trustworthiness.

Confucius taught that your well-being depends directly on the well-being of others. He called this principle Jen. Jen means always affording courtesy and loyalty to others.  Confucius believed in the importance of relationships, personal and governmental morality, justice for all, and being sincere in all of one’s dealings.

One of his most fundamental ideas was the teaching that every person should cherish the aspiration to become a “superior man.”  By this term, Confucius did not mean “perfect.”  He meant superior to others, if possible, but mostly he thought it was critical that we all strive to become superior to the person we used to be yesterday and continue that personal growth throughout our lives. The desire to excel, he believed, universally appeals to all humans and when properly nourished becomes the foundational method for living a great life, possessing transforming power, and a key to having compelling vigor for living life.

We Must Strive to Become That Which We Are Capable Of - Confucius

We Must Strive to Become That Which We Are Capable Of – Confucius

Confucius often proffered the attributes of the ‘superior man’ in the form of brief sayings (and no, not bundled inside of fortune cookies).  He encouraged his followers to admire these sayings without ceasing, to emulate them without turning, and to imitate them without hindrance.  We have placed a few of these below for your consideration.

Confucius’ highest ideal, what he says each human should strive for, is that person’s own improvement.  He promotes personal development as a task at which we must never cease so we may “abide in the highest excellence.” According to Confucius, this goal of lifetime personal development, while impossible in the absolute, must always be kept prominently in mind so that we may become the best of which we are capable of being.  Confucius claims that if we make a firm commitment to do so that we immediately  attain unperturbed resolve; which leads to tranquil poise; that poise results in deliberate care; and such care will lead us to achieving the goal of becoming the person we are designed to become.

Yin and Yang:  Living a Life of Balance and in Harmony

Yin and Yang: Living a Life of Balance and in Harmony

We would all do well to pick out the sayings of Confucius that resonate with us, print them out and hang them in our home or office, and meditate upon them for a few minutes each day.  Or, as Uncle Ralph encouraged:  “Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Art of Living. “The practice of right-living is deemed the highest, the practice of any other art lower. Complete virtue takes first place; the doing of anything else whatsoever is subordinate.” (Li Ki, bk. xvii., sect. iii., 5.)

Personal Growth: “The progress of the superior man is upward, the progress of the ordinary man is downward.” (Analects, bk. xiv., c. xxiv.) “The superior man is distressed by his want of ability; he is not distressed by men’s not knowing him.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xviii.)

Life Purpose: “The superior man learns in order to attain to the utmost of his principles.” (Analects, bk. xix., c. vii.)

Veracity: “What the superior man requires is that in what he says there may be nothing inaccurate.” (Analects, bk. xiii., c. iii., v. 7.) “The object of the superior man is truth.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xxxi.) “The superior man is anxious lest he should not get truth; he is not anxious lest poverty come upon him.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xxxi.)

Personal Integrity: “The superior man must be watchful over himself when alone.” (Great Learning, vi., 2.)

Being Sincere: “Is it not his absolute sincerity which distinguishes a superior man?” (Doctrine of the Mean, c. xiii., 4.)  “The superior man must make his thoughts sincere.” (Great Learning, vi., 4.) “The superior man wishes to be slow in his words and earnest in his conduct.” (Analects, bk. iv., c. xxiv.)

Confucius:  Wisdom not Fortune Cookies

Confucius: Wisdom not Fortune Cookies

Internal Frame of Reference (or Inner Locus of Control): “What the superior man seeks, is in himself; what the ordinary man seeks, is in others.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xx.)  The superior man in the world does not set his mind either for anything or against anything; what is right, he will follow.” (Analects, bk. iv., c. x.)

Confidence: “When internal examination discovers nothing wrong, what is there to be anxious about, what is there to fear?” (Analects, bk. xi., c. iv., v. 3.)”The superior man is satisfied and composed; the ordinary man is always full of distress.” (Analects, bk. vii., c. xxxvi.) “The superior man may indeed have to endure want; but the ordinary man, when he is in want, gives way to unbridled license.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. i., v. 3.)

Courage: “The superior man has neither anxiety nor fear.” (Analects, bk. xii., c. iv., v. i.)

Ethics: “The superior man thinks of virtue; the ordinary man thinks of comfort.” (Analects, bk. iv., c. xi.) ” The mind of the superior man is conversant with righteousness; the mind of the ordinary man is conversant with gain.” (Analects, bk. iv., c. xxi.) ” The superior man in all things considers righteousness essential.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xvii.)

Decisiveness: “Refusing to surrender their wills or to submit to any taint to their persons.” (Analects, bk. xviii., c. viii., v. 2.) “The superior man is correctly firm and not merely firm.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xxxvi.) “Looked at from a distance, he appears stern; when approached, he is mild; when he is heard to speak, his language is firm and decided.” (Analects, bk. xix., c. ix.)

Humbleness: “The superior man is affable but not adulatory; the ordinary man is adulatory but not affable.” (Analects, bk. xiii., c. xxiii.)

Propensity for Good: “The superior man seeks to develop the admirable qualities of men and does not seek to develop their evil qualities. The ordinary man does the opposite of this.” (Analects, bk. xii., c. xvi.) “To be able to judge others by what is in ourselves, this may be called the art of virtue.” (Analects, bk. vi., c. xxviii., v. 3.)

How is Your Outlook?

How is Your Outlook?

Poise: “The superior man in his thought does not go out of his place.” (Analects, bk. xiv., c. xxviii.)

Thoroughness:  “The superior man in everything puts forth his utmost endeavors.” (Great Learning, ii., 4.)

Attentiveness: “The superior man bends his attention to what is radical. That being established, all practical courses naturally grow up.” (Analects, bk. i., c. ii., v. 2.)

Dignity: “The superior man has dignified ease without pride; the ordinary man has pride without dignified ease.” (Analects, bk. xiii., c. xxvi.) “The superior man is dignified and does not wrangle.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xxi.)

Praising Others: “The superior man honors talent and virtue and bears with all. He praises the good and pities the incompetent.” (Analects, bk. xix., c. iii.) “The superior man does not promote a man on account of his words, nor does he put aside good words on account of the man.” (Analects, bk. xv., c. xxii.)

Adherence to the Golden Rule: “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do unto others.” (Doctrine of the Mean, c. xiii., v. 3.)

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.
about.me/AttorneyBlackburn

SUCCESS IS A VERB

There is one thing that will determine whether you are successful more than anything else.  One thing that if you don’t do it, will absolutely guarantee your failure.   Taking Action.

Success:  Can You See It?!?

Success: Can You See It?!?

You may have a world-changing idea, an idea that could solve all the world’s problems, making you history’s most famous person as well as wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice.  Unless you take action, you will remain a frustrated loser who complains about how unfair life is.

A single mediocre idea that is acted upon is worth more than a dozen world-changing ideas that are never acted upon.

Success requires action.  Action is the key to success.  Action trumps everything.

Success is a verb.

Cheers to your success,

Scotty b.

MOST GREAT THINGS ARE CREATED BY SMALL DAILY ACTIONS

“No great thing is created suddenly” – Epictetus, Greek stoic philosopher

The title of this post, Most Great Things Are Created by Small Daily Actions may seem to be in direct conflict with yesterday’s post, Become Successful Faster Than You Can Read This Post.

The point of yesterday’s post, however, is that you choose your definition of success.  You choose whether to continue one more year, or month, or day, or even another minute with the negative self-talk that keeps you mired in mediocrity.  Or whether you will choose to picture yourself as a success, which immediately changes your physiology, emotions and drive.  That decision will catapult you to success in any area of your Life where you have made a 100% decision and commit to its attainment.

“No great thing is created suddenly” – Epictetus, Greek stoic philosopher

Once you have made that decision, however, it is important to recognize the Truth contained in the Epictetus quote above.  Otherwise, it is tough to continue the forward momentum towards your dream Life once adversity strikes.

And adversity will strike.

But here is the thing, and it would be difficult to find anyone who has ever done anything great who would disagree:  A consistent daily effort will get you where you want to be more surely — and usually more rapidly — than a Herculean, but sporadic and inconsistent, effort.

This is true whether the “Great Thing” involves improving your grades, becoming better at your career, learning a new sport or hobby, becoming a better friend or parent, getting closer to God, improving your health or body . . . or anything else worth spending your valuable time and effort on.

So make the decision of what you want.  Get the vision of what attainment will look like crystal clear in your mind.  Think of how you will feel and how it will change your life.  Let those feelings flow through you.  And then jot down a plan that incorporates consistent, hopefully daily, actions towards the attainment of that vision.

It will materialize faster than you can imagine.

To your daily greatness,

Scotty b.

BECOME SUCCESSFUL FASTER THAN YOU CAN READ THIS POST!

Will You Follow The Road Sign?

Will You Follow The Road Sign?

An exact definition of success is elusive.

For some people, success is about getting all you want.  Some will tell you it is the size of the number indicated in your bank account, or a home address within a certain zip code, or the kind of car they drive.   Perhaps it is how envious other women are of your spouse. Others will say it has to de with realizing your hopes and dreams or fulfilling your goals or plans.

It may be one or more of those things…or something else.

But viewing it that way makes you feel like a loser until you get to the finish line. And then what?

That is why I embrace Earl Nightingale’s definition:  “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” – Earl Nightengale

I love this definition because it allows me to become a success this year, this month, in fact this very moment.  Even if I have drifted aimlessly through Life thus far . . .  and all my friends seem to be doing better than me.  Even if I am homeless.  Or I am tired, broken-hearted, and can barely afford my rent payment each month.  None of that matters in Earl’s definition of success.

If I choose this moment a worthy ideal, something to shoot for that I am passionate about.  That goal, that purpose will quickly transform my life.  Without question, it will immediately change everything if I truly vow to never give up taking massive action until I get it – then I am a success!

If you do that…and begin taking action…well, you too ARE a success!

Not once you reach the finish line.  You are a success the moment you choose to aspire to that worthy ideal and commit your Life to achieving it.

As Mr. Nightingale says, “If a man is working toward a pre-determined goal and knows where he’s going, that man is a success. If he’s not doing that, he’s a failure. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”

Success:  Can You See It?!?

Success: Can You See It?!?

Additionally, if you take action towards something worthy of you, you will wake up in the morning feeling victorious rather than feeling defeated.  How would that feel?

It is the kind of feeling that can change your entire life.  So let go of your fear and make the decision right now that you will not leave the place you are right now until you have decided what your Life’s work is to be.

You can always change it.  What you can’t do…is afford to waste another day living in despair.

So make the choice and take action.  Any action.  Become a success.  Set sail towards the Life of your dreams.  The feeling that you are now a success will cause you to walk proudly with your head up high.  You will be happy, fulfilled, and satisfied.

All it takes is a decision to take action and you are immediately a success.  If you have truly decided that you will never give up, then you immediately become a success – you will simply “live into that decision” – as my good friend Heather Carey says.

Make that choice.  Now! Take action.  Refuse to quit!

No matter how you define success, though, the truth is that the quality of your Life is determined by the quality of your feelings.  If you feel happy every second, would you care that you were poor?  Conversely, wouldn’t you be miserable if you were rich and famous, but always felt terrible and unloved?  We often think in terms of the “middle man” – Money, Love, Fame, Power, etc.  But those things are not what is missing from your Dream Life.

You are what is missing from your Dream Life! 

It Is Time!  Will You Dare?

It Is Time! Will You Dare?

You are what is missing from your Dream Life! 

So how do you remedy that?  Easy!  Picture your dream Life and then place yourself in the dream!  You will feel good about yourself when you take action towards your dreams.  Do it.  Do it now!

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

BE WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE

Paint Who You Wish To Be

Paint Who You Wish To Be

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

You create the portrait of your Life.  You, and only you, get to choose each day the colors with which you will paint, the brushes with which you will paint, and each and every brushstroke.  Sure, some people start with a better canvas.  Many people begin their adult life with a much worse canvas.

But each of us has paint and paint brushes.  If we would only stop complaining about our canvas, and begin painting, we would soon be delighted with the Life Portrait we are producing.

How are you feeling about the portrait you have painted of your Life thus far?  Are you a ‘work in progress’?  Are you hoping that some lucky incident will magically give you the Life you desire?  Or have you produced the ‘masterpiece’ you always knew you could be?

The great thing about Life is that even if you feel incomplete, frustrated, and like you will never get to where you want to be . . . one simple choice can change all of that.

Tomorrow awaits.  It is beckoning brightly.  Affix in your mind the person you wish to be.  Then dare to paint the Life that you want – one day at a time.  Do not settle for anything less.  Determine now — this instant — that you will let nothing and no one derail you tomorrow from doing whatever it takes to become that person.

And simply repeat that formula the following day.  And the next one after that.

Will you have frustrating days where you feel you did not make progress?  Of course.

But if you will make that commitment – each day – I promise that you will look back in six months, and a year, and five years from now and you will be that person.

And should you fail to make that commitment…you can be sure you will wake up six months from now, or a year, or five years . . . and you will be more-or-less where you are today.

The Choice is always yours!  Why not start on this person you wish to be today?

From my heart to yours,

Scotty b.

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