Please direct your attention to the main stage, and (if the Prefixed Life had an unlimited budget such that we could afford him on this grand occasion) to your ring announcer, Michael Buffer.
“For the hundreds who have visited the Prefixed Life…and the millions with the ability to do so worldwide . . .it gives us great pleasure to introduce the Blogging Match-Up . . . which will be decided by fifteen (or more or less) rounds of furious blogging action to determine the Heaven-Weight World Championship. . .
. . .and perhaps . . .
Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing, first . . .
In the Black Corner;
Our Veteran . . .
He Lives in gorgeous, sunny; traffic-, smog-, and crime-free Southern California . . .
Your liberal, left-of-Karl Marx-leaning, Commandments-are-not-our-God. . .
SCAAAAHHHHHHH…TTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYY . . . . .BAAAAAA-LAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK-BURN.
The Prefixed Life is proud to introduce,
In the White Corner, your challenger
She hales from the not quite-so-gorgeous or warm, or beach-front . . .
or cool (unless you mean temperature-wise) State of Pennsylvania, U.S.A.
where she has two children, a cat, a degree in nursing, a gorgeous mind . . .
and a bizarre alarm clock.
From the exact center of the famous and historic
Philadelphia-Harrisburg-Scanton exotic triangle,
Presenting . . .
The Naturally-Talented, ‘Not-So-Dumb,’ Conservative-to-the-Right of Genghis Khan, Commandments-Point-The-Way-To-Heaven, Blonde Blogger,
KAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN “For Patients Because I am a Nurse,” BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR-TON.
Blonde Blogger Karen Borton
Ladies and Gentlement, AAAAAAARRRREEEEEE YOU RRRRREEEEAAAAAA-DY?
THEN . . .LETS GET REEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAADY TO CONTRAAAAAAA-PUN-TAL!
And now please direct your attention ring side to our humble referee, dressed in a simple garment of shimmering white, who bears scars in His hands and feet but has the beautiful smiling face of a caring, shepherding, carpenter . . .for the pre-fight instructions: